Buffy Villains

Buffy Villains:
Status: Buffy week

Okay today we are dipping into past of all the Buffy the vampire slayer villains. Now the really odd thing about the Buffy villains is that most of them seem fun and lovable. I always end up siding with the evil characters, but there's something that still makes them just as human and down to earth as Buffy. Now I'm not going to list EVERY single villain because that would take centuries, but here are some of the biggest and baddest and craziest looking of them all.




Spike- Spike is the blonde punk rock "big bad" vampire of several seasons of Buffy. He actually makes it up to the end and becomes more good than anything. I'm guessing Joss kept him in the show so long because everyone loved him. He's evil but at the same time completely lovable(He's such a hopeless romantic and always whining about his ex Drusilla). He's actually my favorite character in the entire show. What can I say? He's a fucking badass! Around season 5 he ends up falling in love with Buffy and tries to stake Drusilla to prove his love. Regardless of who he's in love with he's such a funny character and when he's evil I enjoy him even more. James Marsters is such a spectacular and beautiful actor.




Drusilla- The psychic psycho seductress vampire Drusilla enters Season 2 alongside Spike and shows no mercy. She is a soft spoken, porcelain doll obsessed seemingly calm vampire. She's sick at the beginning, but when she finally regains her strength we see a different and much more malicious vampire. In one episode Angel stops her from eating a little boy. She's also had a disturbing past with Angel, he tortured her and killed everyone around her that she loved before changing her into a vampire, which explains where all the mental problems came from. Seriously she acts loopy as fuck in every episode she's in, it's quite funny to watch. She appears in several episodes of Buffy and the spin off show Angel.




Mayor Wilkins- You find the mayor as the main villain in season three. He’s actually a pretty funny guy, good humored, cheerful, polite, and a total freak about cleanliness. A lot of the scenes he’s in I’ll just be laughing my balls off. He later on hires Faith and becomes like a father figure to her. He dresses like a car salesman and becomes immortal up until his ascension day where he transforms into a giant snake. Is it just me or does anyone else notice that there's like three giant snakes in each season of Buffy, haha. Anyways he snakes out and eats the principal, which I was totally digging because he was such an asshole to Buffy. We get to watch his head get cut in half and him eat a bunch of giant spiders(Ugh). He’s definitely one of the funniest and most interesting villains. Oh and did I mention he loves to play golf?!.




The Master- This is the head vampire guy, he actually killed Buffy in season 1. He’s a very old and ugly vampire. He looks identical to the cave dwelling creatures in “The Descent”. Except the guy has a vagina mouth, it's hard to look at him when he talks...and when he has blood on his mouth, okay you get my point. Then we have the fact that this guy dresses in some bondage type clothes and he just looks old and wrinkly. He reminds me of some old pervert, so as you can tell, I'm not much of a fan of his. It also doesn't help that he killed Buffy, shame on you masta!




Angelis- Oh when Angel loses his soul, this is his schizophrenic bad self. He becomes a completely insane murderous beast and attempts to torture and then destroy everything in his path. Now what causes him to lose his soul is another thing. He is cursed so that even if he gets one second of true happiness POOF there goes his soul. He just so happens to lose it after him and Buffy have sex, Buffy then on in season 2 has to kill him, but before he dies Willows spell turns him good again. Talk about shafted, huh? We think he emerges in season 4 where Faith tries to steal him from Buffy, but he's actually just acting to trick her, and it causes some major problems for Angel and Buffy.







Dark Willow- Okay there are two different evil Willows and we don't want to get them mixed up do we? Alright the first one we saw in season 3, and that was vampire Willow. A sadistic vampire vixen that enjoys torturing people and feeding off their fear and well, blood. It's really fun to see vampire Willow because she arrives at such a perfect time and it's hilarious to watch her beat the crap out of the dumb, mean jock, Percy. Percy was using Willow to do his homework so he could graduate and vampire Willow shows him what's up, so after that incident he never messes with Willow again, and even does his school work. Then we have the skillful, almighty witch, dark Willow in season 6. After Tara, Willows lover is shot she loses every bit of humanity to get revenge. She is completely consumed by the dark arts and is therefore changed into dark Willow. After she gets revenge, she even tries to annihilate the world. It's extremely fun to watch little innocent Willow just wreaking havok on shit. But Xander comes to save the day, confessing his love for Willow, so she will come back.




Faith- Yes, we're back to Faith again, because she was one of the more popular villains and kept coming back when she should have been DEAD. Where to begin with her, oh yeah she tries to kill every person in the Scooby gang, but fails miserably because she's a dumb slut. She joined Mayor Wilkins for his ascension and tried to help him eat all the kids at graduation, but ends up being put in a coma before that happens. She just keeps coming back and failing, I don't even know why she tried. Anyways the white trash princess comes out of nowhere in season 3 because she is being pursued by vampires and thinks she can use Buffy to help her. Then she wears out her welcome in Sunnydale and constantly causes problems for the scooby gang.




Adam- Adam was constructed by Professor Walsh from pieces of demons, human, and metal in season 4. In other words he looked like a awkward ass frankenstein/terminator baby, a really big and mean one. Adam wanted to learn about himself and Riley(he thought they were like brothers) and wanted to turn everyone into half demon/half human zombies. He was created as a super marine to kill all opposing enemies, but obviously something went wrong. So Adam goes homicidal, but while planning his war on humanity he hides out in a cave he discovered in Sunnydale. The thing about Adam is, he was also really smart and destructive. Professor Walsh made several disks, which Adam could insert into his chest to know everything. Professor Walsh should actually be included as a villain with Adam because she created him and tried to kill Buffy as well. The only thing he found beautiful was killing people and playing with their guts. Buffy actually has to have her friends invoke some kind of strong spirit to possess her to take Adam down, which works delightfully.




Glory- Glory is a very special villain from season 5 because she's not just your normal annoying monster. Glory is actually a god, a very pretty god who dresses in cute clothes. She also is a very odd creature because she shares her body with her brother Ben. It makes for some comedic scenes when Glory changes into Ben and he's wearing Glory's short red dress. Ben is somewhat muscular and tallish so it makes for some funny stuff. I can relate to Glory she's not to fond of people, and loves shoe shopping, my kinda girl. I seriously enjoyed myself so much waiting to see what she would be wearing next. Glory also has several scabby, big-nose, short-ish minions who do her bidding. Since she's a god she has no feelings and has to suck people's brains out to survive. She pushes her fingers into people's heads and sucks brains out through her fingers, then regains all her energy. But when she hasn't had anything to eat, she gets weak and tires out, hence the minions collect someone for her to consume. Buffy smashes her various times with a trolls hammer and then she transforms into Ben and Giles suffocates him, it's pretty cool.




Caleb- Caleb is a deranged serial killer priest who hunts down and slaughters potential slayers. He's extremely powerful and even pokes out Xanders eye in season 7, which really upsets me! Poor Xander he is always getting fucked over in like every single episode, haha. Anyways I have to bring up that Caleb is played by Nathan Fillion, hell yeah! Anyways one thing I think of when I see priests is pedophile, so therefore he's pretty creepy.




The Gentlemen- The gentlemen only show up in one episode, but in other episodes we do see some creatures that look similar to them. We are introduced to these demented, smiling, floating doctors in the episode "Hush" of season 4. They basically look like skeletons(except with a thin layer of white flesh stretched across their being) in nicely ironed suits, they also have metal teeth(They're mouths are stuck in huge smiles). These strange creatures were actually born from fairy tales that's why it takes the gang so long to figure out how to stop them. First they take away everyone's voices and then they float around in the middle of the night and cut out certain people's hearts, which they keep in jars. They need a total of 7 hearts to do what they do, but their heads end up exploding after Buffy gets her voice back and screams her face off(Not literally). They also have a group of minions that do their dirty work. They are these wild creatures that run around all crazy like in straight jackets, you just have to watch the episode yourself.




Warren, Johnathan, And Andrew(The Trio)
These three guys have been in other seasons of Buffy randomly, but in season 6 is where they really get together and decide it's time to take over Sunnydale. There's one thing to say about these three goofy guys, they never seem to learn their lesson! These boys are Dungeon and Dragon geeks gone bad, but not really bad. Warren made a sexbot girl that got loose among college kids and threw Spike threw a window and afterwards tried to choke to death his real girlfriend, Jonathan cast a strong spell over Sunnydale that made him a celebrity and everyone puppets in his little play until Buffy caught on, and Andrew decided to unleash demon flying monkeys upon Sunnydale high during a play. You think they are bad when they are separated, just wait till you see these guys in action together, they are fucking hilarious. They raise a demon to rob a bank for them then after that they decide it's time to find out Buffy's weaknesses for when she comes after them. With their stolen money they buy a ton of high tech equipment to monitor public places and put bugs on people. They follow Buffy around in their black rape van and stalk her, it's fantastic. They become as Buffy says "a pain in her butt" for the rest of the season 6.

So give me some insight, even if they are not on the list, who's everyone's favorite Buffy Villain?

Daybreakers(2009)

Daybreaker(2009)
Directors:The Spierig Brothers

*SPOILER ALERT*

This is like a newer revised version of blade mixed with Twilight.Yes,the Spierig brothers have unsparingly and positively let me down.Okay,before i get into the full on review of this horrible monstrosity(in this case i mean bad) of a film.Notice that the main characters name is Edward,he survives on animal blood,and has golden eyes.Twilight anyone?Then there's the part where Ethan Hawke puts on his depressed face and states,"I'm already dead".I laughed so fucking hard in the theater i think i caused a couple people i was with to laugh too.Anyways there were plenty of similarities between this movie and blade.It was really identical set designs,and Sam Neill was the mirror image of Udo Kiers(The head vampire) character in Blade.I'm not going lie this movie was extremely hard to sit through.I was bouncing in my seat talking shit the entire time.I know,i know,i'm being way to harsh on the Spierig brothers.These wonderful gentlemen who brought us the ever-so-amazing Undead(2003).They gave me a brand new outlook on zombie fish,i'll never be the same from that life changing moment i saw those little zombie fillets sprint into the air towards that fishermans nose.I mean they have gone mainstream in a terrible fashion,whatever i say from this moment on i cannot help myself.Congrats you've got an all star cast,the movie still sucks.





Without further bitching let me present the story to you.The movie begins and introduces you to vampire hemotologist Edward(haha) Ethan Hawke,as the world is overrun by vampires.He's trying to create artificial blood,since humans are very near extinction with only a small number in existence.Most of whom are captured and placed in a laboratory where they are harvested for their blood.He's keeping confident all the while human Audrey(Claudia Karvan) and half human/half vampire Elvis(Willem Defoe) have already found a cure.Edward goes on the run with Audrey and Elvis and they hide out with some of the last surviving humans in BFE to talk over their plots.They end up changing Edward into a human/vampire,which is caused by the sun.They let him burn then put him out and BAM whadda ya know,A Humpire!Things get complicated when they are persude by head vampire(Sam Neill) and a whole army of brain washed,blood thirsty soldier vampires.Audrey is captured by the military vampires and Edwards brother Frankie(Michael Dorman)shows up and bites Elvis.A new chapter comes into play as they find out vampires who bite half vampire/half humans change back into humpires.So Edward goes back to the building where Sam Neils character is waiting for him with Audrey strapped to a chair.Edward provokes the head vampire into biting him,and he changes back humpire.Then they strap him to a chair and send him down an elevator to be dinner for the army of vampires.Then a chain reaction happens as the vampires turn humpire,and are attacked by the unaffected vampires.Then on and so on.This by far is the only good part of the movie,i loved the slow motion vampires slaughtering the humpires.It put a smile on my face.Anyways then Edwards deranged assistant from the lab comes down only to blow away the remaining humpires and states that no one must know about the cure.Ooohh and the plot thickens,haha.Anyways they drive away into the sunset(literally) and it's the end.Crap,crap,crap.





Then we have Williem Defoe with all the cheesy and ridiculous lines,"we're the folks with the cross bows".There was absolutely nothing clever or funny about that line,even though my friend Mikey a seat down was pissing himself over it.So un-called for!I'm actually shaking my head with laughter as i'm writing this.Most of the dialogue is just flat out boring,especially for being a vampire film.Even with all the fast cars,fighting,shooting,i was still falling asleep in my chair.And i watch everything,i'm a very open minded person.No matter what,I can usually always keep my attention diverted to the movie screen.I found myself extremely bored with everything that happens in this movie.They also had some bad CGI incorporated in there,which i despise.Like i said before i can't give them any credit for their sets because most of them are carbon copies of sets from Blade.I also couldn't get over after Ethan Hawke turns humpire again,he walks outside wearing some sassy unbuttoned white shirt with a black vest over it,and his hair is all fluffed out.Haha,shit!Is it just me or does Ethan look to much like Tom cruise.I personally don't like either of them.





Now don't get me wrong,they do have some good stories entwined in here.I really thought they took a big brave step attempting to twist around the vampire world as we know it.It's nice to see someone trying something somewhat original.The whole drinking the blood and changing back human/half vampire was a nice little touch.They started off on a good story,but I think they went about the process all wrong,and you lose interest(or at least i did).I haven't yet talked to anyone else who's seen it,but everyone i saw it with hated it.Also the fact that the vampires who feed on their own blood find themselves changing into creepy mongoloid vampires.I thought that was a pretty neat addition.All in all watch this movie at your own risk.If your a big fan of vampires you might like it,or find it somewhat interesting.

I give them a 1/5 for the attempt at a different type of vampire movie.Even if it's bad at least they tried.I will still go out and see any other movies the Spierig brothers make.