Custom Search

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Geometria is a short film by Guillermo Del Toro.It's really visually stunning and i especially loved the music score.The basic concept of it is the best part,i mean i was laughing just like,"wow this is fucking awesome"!Anyways here it is thanks to Dread Central(It was the first site i saw that posted it).Check them out
Trust me take 8 minutes out of your day to check this out!

Anways enjoy!
Miss Aleata Illusion

Jennifer's Body(Movie Review)2009


Jennifer's Body(2009)
Directed By Karyn Kusama.
If you're as big of a movie nut as me,then your following movies like a year before there final release.One in particular that i've kept my eye on quite awhile has been the Diablo Cody scripted "Jennifer's body".Now i have great movie instincts and i had quite a good feeling about this flick.So i finally got to see it Saturday(one day shy of it's release date).The story is narrarated by Needy(Amanda Seyfried) locked away in a mental institution,but at the beginning we don't know why.Alright let's get into the basic concept of this teenage horror flick.We follow the beauty queen of high school Jennifer(Megan Fox) and her nerdy best friend since they were children Needy(Amanda seyfried) going through their daily high school routine.Jennifer convinces Needy(as always) to go out to a crappy bar to see this indie myspace band "Low Shoulder".The band begins playing and the stage just ignites into flames Jennifer and Needy escape thanks to Needy's quick thinking.But while their outside recovering from the shock Jennifer seems to be in a trance-like state.The singer of Low Shoulder appears out of nowhere to encourage Jennifer to get in their bus(a safe place he says) and go for a ride.The only thing i could think to myself at this point was RAPE VAN,haha.Not to mention he gave her a roofie calatta just seconds before hand and was pushing her to drink up.So i mean if your not getting a creepy feeling already,it'll catch up to you soon enough.As Needy tries to tell Jennifer to stay she gets one last look at her best friend before the van door closes and she's left alone outside the flaming bar.She gets home and calls her boyfriend Chip(Johnny Simmons) and tells him the strange events that occured that night,also worried sick about Jennifer's Whereabouts with the weirdo band.A little bit later Jennifer unexpectedly shows up covered in blood and is acting more than odd.She doesn't say a word,but instead attacks a roasted chicken and vomits a putrid blackish substance all over Needy's kitchen floor.Needy at this point realizes that Jennifer is not the same as she was before she got into that rape van.The next day at school Jennifer seems to be okay,with the addition of cruel remarks about the bar burning and people dying.What ensues from then on is a hot demonic chick cannibalizing all the high school boys she can get her hands on.

Jennifer's Body

From all the Megan Fox coverage and interviews we don't realize that Amanda Seyfried is the actual main character.Now since it's a movie about the evils of high school we have a younger cast.But i think they all did a fantastic job,there's actually no one i can pin point to harass at all(i'm such a critic usually).The locations fit beautifully with that "stuck in a tiny desolate town" feeling.Just in general they had some great locations for the different scenes that take place(the abandoned pool,the sacrifice in the woods,the house under construction).Now my taste of music is way different from the music they have here,aside from Hole.But i have to give them some major kudos,because the music slapped over this movie also went really well with the theme of it.At the end when they played the song "Violet" by Hole, i was just like "wow,that's pretty freakin' groovy"!Also another funny fact Hole has a song titled "Jennifer's Body".I have a feeling "Jennifer's body" being named such was no coincidence,but done intentionally.Now this isn't the only movie out there with posession caused by a band,but it was done in a completely original way.I mean they band didn't just hypnotize her and off onto a murderous rampage she went.But it was a sacrifice gone wrong,as we learn half way through the movie.The band mistaking Jennifer for a virgin, sacrifice her to Satan in some dark deserted woods.What they didn't know is that if sacrificed and not a virgin they'll come back as a demonic force to eat people to keep a good complexion.

Jennifer's Body

Jennifer's Body
The ending was fantastic!I loved the dramatic way they chose to take it.The flash backs during the scene prove effective and you get that sense of sadness for Needy having to murder her best friend.Yet the anger is present as well,with the fact that Jennifer ate Needy's boyfriend.Also a touch of comedy as Needy's murder weapon of choice is revealed(a box cutter).All of this madness crushed together with great actresses and an equally good director and we have a fabulous scene.Now i don't want to bad mouth Diablo Cody.I think she's a great writer,she gets the whole "teenage girl" thing(she also wrote the teen pregnancy hit "Juno").But Diablo's teenage lingo gets a bit to ludicrous for it's own good.I know when your a teenager you practically have your own language,but some of the words are really incomprehensible and it makes the characters seem a little annoying.There are also some really cheesy lines i felt were inappropriate for the dialogue.The "Tampon" remark was just flat out fucking stupid.And the dress they make Needy wear to the prom was just ri-god-damn-diculous!Yeah,we understand she's a geek,but this isn't the butt fucking 80s.But every movie has it's quirks,what can you do?Also the CGI,everyone knows how i feel about CGI.The CGI didn't much bother me at all.The flick is so layed back and enjoyable that i could forgive a little bit of nonsensical effects.Aside from that i thought the movie was pretty fucking cool.It's definately on my list of "movies to buy".You don't often find very many good new horror hollywood movies,but "Jennifer's Body" is positively one to see.With all these remakes it's nice to see a fresh idea thrown out there for once.I probably forget to mention a couple things,but i've only viewed it once.I'll probably come back to tweek this review,just wanted to put my love for this movie in the open while it was semi-fresh in my head.What do i rate it you say?!.

The Human Centipede

Here's a great clip from the upcoming flick "The human centipede" i just thought i'd share with all of you.I am almost in tears awaiting what looks to be a masterpiece!In this horrid world of constant remakes and takes off comic books a fresh creative idea thrills me.
Directed by Tom Six.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Sorority Row(2009)


Directed by Stewart Hendler
Okay for those of you that are not in the know.This is a remake of the 1983 cult film "The house on sorority row".There's plenty different between these two,but i won't get into that i'll save it for a double feature.Penned by Josh Stolberg and Pete Goldfinger this reboot follows 6 sorority girls in Theta Pi as they play a prank that goes awry.They give roofies to one of the girls ex boyfriends(Matt O'Leary) to give to her at a party,but once she starts spastically convulsing the fun begins.They get the boy to fetch the car,so they can "take her to the hospital".He is absolutely losing it and the girls are fighting their laughter.They have him stop the car claiming she's dead and they need to cut up her body and hide it.Then what do you know the boyfriend takes a tire iron and plunges into straight into the girls heart.Everyone panic's especially Garrett when he figures out he's on the receiving end of an extremely cruel prank.So the girls not wanting to ruin their planned out lives dispose of the body in a well(The Ring reference anyone?) and make a pact that they will not tell a living soul what took place that night.Then 8 months later at a graduation party the girls get picked off one by one(and a couple guys thrown in there).

Alright so you get the basic concept of what we're dealing with now.The acting was all okay aside from the actor Jullian Morris who played Andy.I mean you could tell he was TRYING to act,it wasn't that natural feeling.I bet the leading ladies attracted most of the attention for the publicity and they are definately not eye sores.I have to mention though the girl who played Ellie(Rumar Willis)has a head like a saint bernard.It really kind of freaked me out a bit.This movie was one big horror cliche.I could tell the writers tried to make it original by throwing curve balls,but what good does that do when you can see them coming from a mile away?!?.Being a writer myself i couldn't stand the dialogue,it was way to typical and lame.But i guess that comes along with being a big Hollywood P.O.S. remake no talent whatsoever.The deaths and scares are purely cheap tactics that have been done over and over again.Watching this movie i would have expected more boobies,but did they even deliver that aspect,barely.I mean if i have to sit through something this awful they should at least make it somewhat entertaining.Gore and boobies are in high demand these day you know!

I was also really thrown by how they portrayed Megans younger sister Maggie(Caroline D'Amore).She appears out of nowhere acting like a complete creeper and has the audience like "oh no she's so the killer"!!But it's so ridiculous they blew her character completely out of proportion.I mean seriously why would she just walk out in front of their car while their driving just to stand there like an idiot and exchange some insults.Then again with her sleeping with the Jessicka's(Leah Pipes) boyfriend in her bed.I just wanted to bitch slap someone the entire movie for all the pointless things added.

Well anyways we end it with our lovely heroine Cassidy(Briana Evigan) coming face to face with her lame ass boyfriend Andy who is killing everyone who knows the secret about Megan(Audrina Patridge)being murdered,because he wants them to be free of it and the theta pi girls or some stupid shit.There's not much of a plot so you'll easily grasp everything going on.All the twists and turns it seems they ripped right out of the "Scream" movies.In my eyes for being the movie it was i was even more disappointed that they left so many survivors.Then they do a outdated hint at the end of Garrett coming back as the killer.Oh please not a sequel to a remake...i just can't stomach those!I mean if your drunk or high and can't see straight this is the movie for you!
I give it a 1/5
..And that's because of the hott chicks.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Best Screamer

Alrighty,well this is a bit of a follow up from my "nightmare on elm street 3" post.I had blogged it before on my myspace but didn't like the way i worded it,so i'm starting off fresh.At the top of my best screamer list is none other than Patricia Arquette.Now it's hard to realize why i picked this wonderful actress.Her screams are absolutely brain piercing!If she was getting attacked on the street shit you would know it.I bet she would then scare off her attacker because of that blood curdling banshee cry.Seriously this woman makes my ears quiver from that high pitched shriek!But it's beautifully welcome in my DVD player anyday.Patricia has a great talent and would have made an even better scream queen.But she plays in many different genre films.I love that she expanded her horizons though,if not we wouldn't see her in such cool flicks as True Romance,Ed Wood,Holes,Flirting with disaster,etc.Because we all know that scream queens stay strictly in their horror genre,that's where they are recongnized.I couldn't help but hand off this title to her though,that's how intense it is.

P.S. Robert Englund has written a book about his Freddy expirence and such entitled "Hollywood Monster".And Heather Langenkamp is coming out with one by the name of "I am Nancy",i'm really excited to purchase and read both of them!So if your a fan there's just a quick bit of info.

Anyone have any opinions on a favorite scream queen?Theres so many good ones to choose from!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

My Favorite Nightmare!

Okay,so my friend Steve brought over his movies,and he has all of the nightmare on elm street's.I just love em!!After i got over my ridiculously manic excitedness i took a little trip down memory lane.I'm not quite sure why i don't own all these already,probably the fact that i'm always ballz deep in independent cinema and don't allow much time for anything else.Now i love all the nightmare's,they tickle my pickle.The cheese,amazing effects,creative deaths and dreams(or shall i say nightmares).It's really hard to say that you could hate this movie franchise,but there's one in particular that i've always loved much more above the rest.Could you guess what that one might be?!.

Nightmare On Elmstreet 3:Dream Warriors

So i could give you a million reason why this is better than they rest,and i'll start right now.Okay we have my personal favorite screamer(I'll have to put that blog up for you to enjoy) the lovely Miss Patricia Arquette!When i first saw the movie i basically didn't know who she was(back in the day),but as time passed she's really become one of my favorite actresses.She did an amazing job as the sleep deprived teen Kristen Parker that is Freddy's new target.We also have some familiar faces: Robert Englund as Freddy back(of course),Heather Langenkamp as Nancy,John Saxon as Nancy's father,and an extra special appearance by Zsa Zsa Gabor(which is my 2nd favorite scene in the entire movie)!In case your wondering what my favorite scene is it's the hilarious scene where Freddy comes into Kirsten's room and says "where's the fucking bourbon" and grabs her mom,always the one thing that stuck with me.

I love the opening scene with the credits,how Patricia is making Freddy's house out of paper mache and popsicle sticks.It was such a good original way to open up number 3.It was really done beautifully and definately grabs your full attention.The music score was skin crawling creepy and fit perfectly thanks to Angelo Badalamenti and Dokken.The nightmare sequences are ohhh sooooo good,we get some more familiar aspects with Freddy's house and the freaky little girls playing jump rope.But,but,but they have soo much more cool new stuff to let transcend into your brain.So this flick revolves around a group of kids who are having the "Freddy" nightmares.They are all checked into a mental institution type deal for attempted suicides.Enter Nancy who's been through psychology school and is back to try to save the Elm Street kids.With the head Doctor trying to drug the kids claiming that they need the sleep to get better,it's a fight to the death.

Okay so i went off topic from the dream sequences,so let's address them.Kristens first nightmare with the little girl she's carrying changing into a skeleton,loved it.Then when Kristen is in the bathroom and the whole sink comes apart and turns into Freddy's arms.I mean it was so like wow,the detail to it.Philip and the marionette scene.So freddy pulls this kids veins out of his arms and legs and leads him to a tower where he is offed.Then with Taryn and the little opening and closing mouths on her arms where Freddy's own heroine needle claws are injected into her.There's so many more you'll just have to watch the movie to see.

Unlike the other nightmares this one has such memorable characters,you can't help but be a little perturbed when they get picked off one by one.Not to mention how many new secrets are revealed to the audience in this one.We find out about Freddy's mother,dream powers,where Freddy is buried,and many new tactics to keep yourself awake if your being dream stalked by a psycho child killing burn victim.It also leaves a lot of doors open for movies that followed.In addition it cracks me the fuck up that Freddy refer's to many of the girls as "Bitches"."Come and get him BITCH","Welcome to the prime time bitch".I mean with Robert Englund saying it,it just makes it that much more funnier.Oh that child murdering Freddy!Anyways if you haven't seen it yet,i highly recommend it!I gives it a 5/5!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

"Plan 9 From Outer Space" remake.

Here's a little look at the new craptastic remake of "Plan 9 from outer space".You look at me and say,"Aleata why are you so angry about this remake"?Well just watch on and maybe we can share some frustration!Anyways looks to be another fuckass lame zombie movie,where zombies can no doubt charge at you at high speeds and eat your brainsss.I am sick to death of remakes!

Plan 9 Teaser Trailer from Darkstone Entertainment on Vimeo.