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Monday, June 28, 2010

Summer Madness




Hey everyone, just wanted to give you all a little update about myself.
Well Summer is upon us, and usually what happens is I keep myself extremely occupied during it. So I'm not sure how much I'm going to be keeping up with this blog right now. I'm going to be working on movies, working, throwing parties, etc. It's going to be busy, so forgive me if I can't keep my baby updated. I have a lot of projects I'd like to get completed, so I'll be taking a little bit of time off from writing. I'll pop up reviews and news whenever I can though, I promise! Anyways I hope everyone is doing fantabulous! What does everyone have planned for this Summer?
Word.
Aleata Illusion

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Dead Tone(2007)

Dead Tone(2007)
Director: Brian Hooks, Deon Taylor
Status: Movie Review



Alright, oh this one was a REAL winner. What we have is a story about a group of kids who make prank calls, and somehow always dial the same psycho’s number, who stalks and kills them. This movie is so bad that even Flavor flav makes an appearance in the beginning in a vampire cape, now that is scary! And it doesn’t make any sense, there’s absolutely no point to his appearance. A good portion of the movie is a bunch of boring ass college kids talking and then partying, then the last 30 minutes is a lot of really unoriginal and lame deaths. That movie was way to long for it’s own good, clocking in at 1 hour and 39 minutes. If I wanted to see a bunch of college kids act like retards I’d rent a National Lampoon’s movie. And the killer mysteriously dresses indenitical to the killer in “Urban Legend”. I don’t know why I subjected myself to this torture. I watched this movie because I thought Bill Moseley was in it, and then I realized that that movie was “dead air”. Yeah, I really payed the price for that one.




Then there’s a fucking 20 minute scene of these two ghetto thugs fighting with the killer while a white kid hides behind a door. Seriously it keeps flashing back to the kid like every 2 seconds, it’s regoddamndiculous! Then we get to see the dumbest “twist” in horror movie history. Not to mention after the hooded killer gets stabbed like 20 he gets right back up, what the fuck? The director stars in the movie as one of the final kids, I really hate when that’s done in movies. It’s exceptional if your short on people and have to act, or you make a cameo appearance, but tacky if your doing it intentionally. This movie was a waste of time and film. I’d recommend everyone stay as far away from this pile of crap as you can. I’m cutting the review short right now, because this movie doesn’t deserve any more of my precious time. Thank you and goodnight. *Takes a bow*






Watch this one instead!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

My DamnedSociety Interview!




If you go to www.damnedsociety.com you will see me right on the front page, and can click my picture for my interview. Tell a little a bit about myself and what I'm doing this year!
Or you can go directly to the link here:
http://www.damnedsociety.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1061:alleata-illusion&catid=9:featured-queens&Itemid=143

Thanks.



Just want to say hello new followers and thanks for following gore gore dancer movie reviews! I look forward to hearing your feedback! And I try to follow everyone back! =]

Sunday, June 20, 2010

More Buffy Poll Results

Okay the results are in for last weeks Buffy the vampire slayer poll results. Let's check out what you guys chose!

Vampire
Demon
God
All leading with 20% each

Werewolf
Dancing/singing hell demon
coming in next with 13% each

Vengeance demon
Witch
Both came in with 6%

Flying monkey
Helldog
Loan shark
Giant CGI snake
Evil mist
Demonic ghost
All got left behind with no votes!

So it's time for a new Buffy poll this week. "Who's your favorite Sunnydale vampire"? So go vote and let me know!
Also there's a new scream queen of the week Alyson Hannigan!
So as Buffy month continues, send in those posts! Or let me know if you have done one on your page and I'll post your link. I'll be getting more Buffy posts up this week, Stay tuned Buffy lovers!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Best Buffy Fights!

Top 10 Buffy Fights
Status: Buffy Month

Well we all know there is TONS of fights in Buffy the vampire slayer. From master kung-fu fighters to slap fights and pulling hair. Now when I look back at the show I think back to the most memorable Buffy fights. The more bizarre and hilarious Buffy fights ever, so let's take a look at what I've come up with for the best fights!




10.) Andrew Vs. The person who stole his hot pocket(Faith)(Season 7): This is not actually a physical fight, but it's extremely amusing. Andrew marks the hot pocket box that's his so no one will eat it and what happens? Faith gets her dirty grubby hands on it and eats it, so Andrew bitches constantly about it. Following Giles around bickering about his hot pocket problem, then stands behind Faith and bitching even more. I love that guy!

9.) Buffy Vs. Darla(Season 1): I neglected Darla in the Buffy villains column, so what better place to bring her up then the best fights! This fight is different from all the others because comically Darla pulls out two hand guns and starts shooting at Buffy. Throughout Buffy we constantly see hand to hand combat and fighting with medieval type weapons. So the fact that Darla pulls out guns had me in stitches, it's like "shit, that's one way to get er done!"




8.) Spike Vs. The Women(Various Seasons): Spike being the "I don't give a shit" hardcore vampire has a tendency to punch a lot of women in the face. It's hilarious to see him do it with such a serious attitude. It's cinematic fighting people, don't get grouchy. Spike has gotten his ass beat by several women and dished a fair amount out. It's just really comedic to watch, especially with Harmony, god I hate that character. Spike may be a ladies charmer, but damn he gets his ass beat a lot. Oh and I would just like to add that the best thing ever was when Spike beat the hell out of Faith in the last season, THE BEST!

7.) Anya Vs. Buffy(Season 6): This is a really intense fight for the viewers, because this is a fight after Anya and Buffy were just friends. But Anya takes her job back as a vengeance demon and starts killing guys again. Buffy knows what she has to do even though no one else wants to come, except Xander(to stop the fight.) He doesn't interfere with the badass fight scene we get to see though. Up until this point we haven't gotten a chance to see much of Anya's fighting style. So we get to see how much of a badass bitch she actually is when it comes to hand to hand combat. Buffy ends up running a sword through her(She's a vengeance demon it takes more than a sword to kill her), but Anya rights the wrong and gets fired from her job before Buffy has a chance to end her life.

6.) Giles Vs. Ethan Rainn(Various Seasons): We can't forget Giles beating the dog piss out of Ethan every time he comes in contact with him, it's glorious! When we finally see Giles fight it's like "damn he's one badass motha". Ethan is Giles old friend from England who used to cause chaos with him. Well he keeps coming back to Sunnydale to make mischief, so Giles has to keep beating that ass.




5.) Buffy Vs. Adam(Season 4): This fight gets number 5 because it's pretty weird. I guess you could say it's like watching Criss Angel as a chick fighting some big doofy demon/robot/human man person with a lot of metal arm weaponry. Buffy has the Scooby gang (Willow, Giles, Xander) invoke a witch god to help her fight Adam, because he's pretty dangerous. The end result is Buffy becoming possessed by the spirit and just annihilating this guy. She turns his bullets into doves, makes a magic force field appear to protect her, and can counter control his every move. Did I mention she has orange eyes the entire time?


4.) Buffy Vs. Angel(Season 2): This is a unique and heartbreaking fight for Buffy, because it's against the only man that she's desperately in love with. Angel, her first love, goes bad after he encounters his one true moment of happiness, and of course that's sex with Buffy. He becomes his treacherous and demonic old self Angelus and begins tormenting Buffy and running evil schemes in Sunnydale with Drusilla and Spike. So to save the world, Sunnydale, and herself, Buffy has to run him through with a sword and watch him get sucked away to hell through a portal.


3.)Giles Vs. Cop(Season 3): In the episode "Band candy" the candy the school kids sell when consumed by adults turns them into teens with raging hormones. Not physically , but mentally makes them a teen again. So Giles and Buffy's mom Joyce start hanging out together and causing trouble. Giles steals a coat out of a store window front that Joyce was admiring and here comes a cop out of nowhere. Well Giles takes it upon himself to solve this problem. He kicks the crap out of the cop and takes his gun. It's a very comic scene, Giles is dressed as a greaser, and oh did I mention he bangs Buffy's mom? Haha!




2.)Oz Vs. Werewolf girl(Season 4): We can't forget any of the werewolf fights because they are some of the most ridiculous fights ever! Seeing two people in cheap Halloween werewolf costumes rolling on the floor like retards. Just the way they run is enough to send me into hysterical seizures of laughter. We get to see Seth Green's werewolf rip out the throat of the female one, and god it's ridiculous. Please watch for yourself!




1.) Xander Vs. Harmony(Season 4): Oh my god, you know I had to make it number 1! For those of you who don't know, let's recap. Xander is trolling through the graveyard when he finds Harmony burning some evidence for Spike. Xander and her have some choice words, and we think we're about to see a potentially badass fight scene. Well they have at it, and it ends up the biggest bitch slap/hair pulling fight in Buffy history. It ends with them tangled together doing the "I'll quit if you do" thing.
Here's the scene, since I couldn't find a video clip.
Harmony & Xander 'fight'
from The Initiative (Season 4)
(woods. Xander sees things being thrown into a pile. Harmony walks out and begins to pour gas on the pile.)

XANDER: Harmony.

HARMONY: Xander?

XANDER: That's close enough. I'm warning you: I've been highly trained to put this through your heart. No mercy, no warning.

HARMONY: I can kill you where you stand.

XANDER: Bring it on, then.

(Harmony slaps him)

XANDER: Ow!

(He kicks her in the shin)

HARMONY: Ow! You sissy kicker!

(She slaps him in the arm. The most girly fight ever on BTVS ensues. They slap at each other and circle each other in a menacing manner. More slapping without contact. They end up tangled up pulling each others hair.)

XANDER: Get away! Aah! Cut it out!

HARMONY: Ow, I'm so gonna bite you!

XANDER: Ow... Ok, stop, stop! We should stop, ok?

HARMONY: Ok, I will if you will.

XANDER: On the count of 3...

XANDER: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1...2...3!

HARMONY: Right, ok.

XANDER: Harmony, it's been great catching up. Really, I'm just gonna pick up the tattered shreds of my dignity and go home...

We love it!


Thursday, June 17, 2010

Video Game News Dead Rising 2, Donkey Kong, and Saw 2

Video Game Updates Featuring Dead rising 2:case zero, Donkey Kong, and Saw 2
Status: Video Game News


Alright we have a lot to talk about in this article, needless to say I'm very excited about these!



Let's start with Dead Rising 2: Case zero For those of you addicted to zombie apocalypse games, this is for you. Check out the synopsis, "Dead Rising 2: Case Zero takes place a few years after the original, with the zombie infestation that originated in Santa Cabeza now spread all over the United States. This time out you’re Chuck Greene, former national motocross champion who finds himself caught in the middle of the zombie apocalypse in Fortune City". Alright well it's caught my attention, so let's check out the trailer below!
The release date is slated for August 31st



Donkey Kong Country Returns



Who doesn't love Donkey Kong?!. Well Donkey Kong and friends will be returning for another fun filled adventure for us to follow. The game will be released this Holiday season 2010 for Nintendo Wii's. Enjoy the trailer below!




Saw 2 Flesh And Blood(pretty original title huh?)



Well as you know, I've already posted the trailer for Saw 2 when I heard news about it. Now they have released a lot of promising stills from the game. And again the synopsis for Saw 2 goes a little like this, Detective Tapp's son goes on to investigate his father death, leading him to another abandoned warehouse where he will be Jigsaw's next target. He will have to play the game to survive Jigsaw and protect himself against the other people in the place that are gunning to do anything to live.
The release date is set for September 7th.
Until then check out the new stills from the game:













We all remember this scene from the Saw 2 film








Also I'll refresh your memory and repost the trailer for it below:

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

[REC] Genesis and Apocalyse

I recently reported about [REC] 2, well I guess that's not all that Paco Plaza and Jaume Balagauero have up their sleeves. Since the first two [REC] movies have been such a success, they are making two more! The second and third [REC]'s are entitled "Genesis" and "Apocalypse". The [REC] movies are about the zombie apocalypse starting in an apartment building then surrounded and quarantined by firemen/government officials, etc. And of course all hell breaks loose.
Here's a sneak peak at the new poster art below.




Check out the first trailer below:


And the second:


Resident Evil Afterlife News

Resident Evil Afterlife Updates!
Status: Movie News

I don't know about you, but I'm a fan of the Resident Evil movies, and I'm pretty stoked about Afterlife! I'm also a huge Milla Jovovich fan, that woman is amazing! Resident Evil Afterlife is going to be released in 3-D, they seem to be doing that a lot lately. I don't even enjoy 3-D that much, it hurts the eyes, and who would want to watch every freakin' movie in 3-D. It's probably some type of government brainwashing technique, haha. Okay let's get back on subject. Resident Evil afterlife focuses on Alice (Milla Jovovich) as she is one of the only survivors of the zombie apocalypse and trying to salvage and save the remaining humans, which are very little. There's new characters,more fights, more blood and gore, and it looks fucking immaculate! The movie is written and directed the by first resident evil's Paul W.S. Anderson. Also starring along side Milla are Ali Larter, Wentworth Miller, Sienna Guillory, and Shawn Roberts. The current release date we're looking at is Septemeber 10, 2010! I'll let you guys know if anything changes.

The new poster art is great! Check it out!





Check out the new Resident Evil Afterlife Trailer below:


Here's the original trailer as well, in case you haven't seen it yet:



And a Set visit to Afterlife:


So anyone else looking forward to it?

New Mortal Kombat!

Ohhh man! Kung Lao does the coolest shit as it is, but after watching this holy fuck! I can't wait to play this game! I'm kind of in shock from the excitement! So don't wait any longer, watch the trailer!



So what do you think good stuff or what?

Good Guys Gone Bad-Buffy Month

Buffy: Good Guys Gone Bad
Status: Buffy Month

Here we will talk about the members of the Scooby gang gone nutty and out for blood. Why? Pure evil or sorrow brought on by horrible accidents. We all have our bad days, but not this bad. Living on a Hellmouth anyone can get sucked into the craziness that they fight everyday, and in more then once instance, they do.So let's take a look at Buffy and her friends gone rogue.




Buffy: Now we definitely didn't expect Buffy to go practically Annie Wilkes on us, but she did in season 6. A flabby fish looking creature that the trio raises sticks Buffy with it's stinger and a type of poison that makes her hallucinate another world in her head is injected into her. In her head she's with her mother and father in a mental institution and they are trying to cure her "mental illness", as they say. Anyways she's so depressed from being yanked out of heaven by her friends that she starts to believe the hallucinations. Knowing she'll be with her mother and father in a "happy" place completely disturbs and distorts her perspective on reality. She thinks that she needs to kill her friends to erase them as fake memories and join her parents in a better place. So what does she do you ask? Well she beats her friends up and ties them all up in the basement, and releases the fish creature on them. A fight ensues until Buffy comes to the realization that she is home.She actually refuses to sit down until Willow extracts the cure from the poison in the creatures stingers.
Also in season 4 Buffy's body is taken over after a confrontation with Faith using a magical gadget, and their souls are switched into eachothers bodies. Mistaking Buffy for Faith the watchers council tries to kidnap her to transport to England for a court hearing, which almost gets her killed. All the while Faith is parading around in Buffy's body being a whore and causing mischief. If it's one thing you do you do not steal Buffy's body!




Willow: Now as I've previously posted, we have a couple different versions of Willow going rogue. The first one barely counts because it's her from an alternate reality, what would have happened if Buffy wouldn't have come to Sunnydale. She's quite a foxy, pleather wearing, seductress Willow vampire. In the alternate reality her and Xander end up eating Cordelia in a very disturbing scene where they both suck on her neck. Eeek! The second evil Willow is the extremely powerful demonic witch Willow. After Warren shoots Buffy and Willow's lover/friend Tara through an upstairs window, Willow loses it completely. She calls on the dark forces to resurrect Tara, but they refuse because she died a natural death. So what does Willow do? She seeks bloody, and I do mean BLOODY revenge. She literally tears the skin off of Warren(the asshole who shoots Buffy and Tara), and goes on a rampage of destruction. It ends when she attempts to end the world, and Xander breaks her down.





Xander: Xander becomes vampire Xander in an alternate reality that Cordelia creates by making a wish to a vengeance demon(Anyanka, oh the irony). Anyways him and Willow are dating as vampire and our vicious killing machines. Vamp Willow is more of a fan of torturing while Xander just chooses to eat his victims. I have to say though, he doesn't make a menacing vampire at all. He's just to adorable.




Anya: I know Anya was bad to begin with, as she was a vengeance demon, but she becomes good for almost all the seasons. Then Xander leaves her at the altar on their wedding day, and what left to do then go back to her old ways again. Granted this time she has stronger emotions for the devious things that she does. For instance she feels really bad after granting a wish that a monstrous spider eats the heart out of some girls ex boyfriend and his cruel friends. Buffy goes after her to kill her, but all ends good after Anya makes everything right again, and loses her job as a vengeance demon of course.




Oz: We all know Oz is a good guy, he's Willows boyfriend for awhile and very quiet and collected. But when the full moon rises he is not in control of himself. After he wolfs out he could kill anyone, that is why he locks himself in a cage to keep everyone around him safe. There's more than one incident where Oz escapes his little cell and runs amok causing some wolf chaos. Most of the time it's not him that actually hurts anyone, so what was he doing? Haha, quite a good question. Anyways he wolfs out for the last time on Tara when he finds out that she's Willow's new love interest, and ends up leaving for good after that season, which sucks.




Giles: Now Giles is never really a "bad" guy, but he does do some foolish things. Such as, injecting Buffy with a serum that weakens and almost gets her killed more then once. He does this because it's a slayer endurance "test" supposedly given to all the slayers to prove something or other. Anyways Buffy gets very cross with him after he pulls that one. And secondly in the episode "band candy" when Giles reverts back to his old teenage ways, he causes some hilarious damage. He bangs Buffy's mom, trashes stuff, steals, and then beats up a cop and takes his gun. He's a total badass in it, haha.

Anyways that's it for my good guys gone bad edition for Buffy month. Anyone have anything to add? Any other characters gone bad that you really enjoyed?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Gore Gore Gabbing Edition 1

Gore Gore Gabbing:
Status: Movie News





Here is my little bits of movie information section. I've been hearing a lot of news about different projects and I want to just get them posted all at one time. So welcome to the world gore gore gabbing my friends! There are a few projects that I really would like share with everyone if you haven't heard of them, because I'm excited.




Director and amazing man, Joe Lynch
You all know about Joe Lynch's new Role play slaughter movie by the name of knights of badassdom because I never shut up about it, well we have some fresh news about it. They have announced some new cast members on the project. Steve Zahn(A perfect gewtaway, Joy Ride), Comedian Danny Pudi(community), Peter Dinklage(Death at a funeral,Elf), and Ryan Kwanten(True Blood,Dead Silence) are all signed on to get badass! For those of who don't remember what this movie is about, let's give you a quick synopsis. A group of kids are live action role players(you know dress up like medieval warriors and play fight battles for kingdoms and such) that end up casting a spell from a book he bought on ebay, which makes things a tad bit real as he releases evil monsters in the forest. Of course the insanity begins! To sum it up Joe refers to it as a "Heavy metal horror adventure".
And as a little bonus check out Joe on Body count recommending some great horror films for you to watch!

You can also catch my exclusive interview with Joe Lynch talking about it here:
http://aleataillusion.blogspot.com/2010/01/gore-gore-reporter-joe-lynch.html

Pornstar Belladonna



I thought this was some cool news because Michelle Sinclair(Belladonna) the porn star will be making her movie debut in the horror/thriller "Stripped". Even better she will be acting alongside Tiffany Shepis(one of my personal favorite scream queens). Written and directed by John Wildman the story revolves around two brothers and a friend that go out to celebrate one of the guys birthday, but all ends in a horrific bloodbath when they end up in a house filled to the brim with psychotic women. Definitely sounds quite appealing, and sexy! There's nothing I love more then cooky women who enjoy mindlessly butchering people.

Anyways you can find more information over at Bloody-disgusting where I first heard the news. Check out the link below:
http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/20501?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Final Destination 5 gets a director, but why?
So they are releasing Final Destination 5 in 3-D, who would have figured? And it will be directed by Steven Quale(Second unit director for Avatar and Titanic). The movie will be released into theaters August 26th, 2011. Up until FD 3, I didn't have a problem with the movies, but the most recent one "The final destination" made me want to shove burning hot oiled fries into my eyeballs and wiggle them around a little. You can't even refer to that one as a "guilty pleasure" movie, because it was just so fucking bad. Anyways maybe they will surprisingly do something different with number 5, only time will tell. I'll let you know as the news comes.

And from Writer/Director Tim Sullivan comes 2001 Maniacs: Field of screams. The movie features amazing horror actors such a Bill Moseley, Lin Shaye, and Christa Campbell. This looks to be a grindhouse gorefest with gorgeous women and ridiculously awesome antics! I can tell you I'm extremely excited to see it! Check out the trailer below.


Oh and don't forget Piranha 3-D hits the screen August 27th, 2010. I've been very impatient! New international poster courtesy of www.shocktillyoudrop.com




Well that's all for the gore gore gabbing section today. Hear any awesome movie news or want to promote your movie be sure to let me know, send me an e-mail at Ispeaktodestroyx@aol.com and for the Subject: Movie news.
Thanks!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Rec 2 Trailer and More

Alright who hasn't seen the Spanish hit zombie film Rec? Well the same minds who brought you Rec have made a sequel Rec 2. And we all know that Quarantine was the American remake of Rec, which turned out to be a big waste of time. It's basically the same thing, shaky camera in a dark building with a bunch of commando people shooting wiggly bloody zombies. I just really can't stand the hand held recorded movies. Ooohh your video taping a crisis and/or apocalypse and can't hold fucking still, your going to make me puke! I'm pretty sick of a bunch of zombie people running around on their hands and knees on ceilings. I enjoyed it when I saw it in the Exorcist 3. No bad mouthing the movie, just not a fan of the way it's filmed. I'm not running out of my way to see this movie, but if I ever have free time I might watch it. Doesn't look new or exciting, just the same. Thought I'd post some info for you hardcore zombie fans out there! Anyways the movies is directed by Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza, the same two men who directed the first Rec as well.



Check out the Rec 2 trailer below:


And here's a Rec 2 featurette:


MORTAL KOMBAT REMAKE!




So I'm reading Mr Chuck Conry's(www.zombiesdontrun.net) blog and what info do I find? There's a Mortal Kombat remake coming out!
I'm going to admit that I can't control my curiosity, I fucking love Mortal Kombat! Like with a deep, unhealthy, murderous passion! I grew up playing these games and I get a little bonkers when something new comes out. I've already nitpicked the new trailer to death, because I do dislike a lot of stuff in it. The thing is I'm going to see this movie anyways when it comes out in theaters. I can't fucking wait! Sindel better be in it, or I'll start throwing items at the screen and come back and do an angry Aleata Illusion review. I enjoyed the first 2 mortal kombat movies, but I have a feeling I'm going to go hard on this one. They are taking a realistic approach and adding more of the characters backgrounds to it and I don't know how much I'm going to dig that. I don't care about how Reptile got a skin condition, I want to see him beat the dick out of people!





Check out the brand spanking new trailer below:



So any thoughts on the trailer?

Fave Buffy Character Poll Results

Alright well the first Buffy the vampire slayer poll from last week has spoken. The most popular fan favorite character is the one and only Spike played by James Marsters(and he's damn beautiful)!
Let me just post the poll result, so none of you miss them. =]
Spike: 30%
Willow: 23%
Buffy: 15%
Angel: 7%
Oz: 7%
Xander: 7%
Anya: 7%
Cordelia: 0%
Giles: 0%
Tara: 0%

So there they are, and of course it's time for a new poll!
Let's do your favorite Sunnydale creature! Alright get to the voting!

Buffy Movie?

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Sequel
Status: Buffy Week





Has anyone ever wondered why they didn't make a Buffy 2, but with all the television show characters? It still boggles my mind that they never did it, because you know that it would have been a hit with us Buffyites. The movie could have picked up where the television show left off, and could have brought back some familiar characters. I've been thinking more in depth about it in my head lately like: what would happen, would there be any new characters, how would Buffy be in mortal danger this time around, would any old characters be resurrected, and who would die? I've already well established that fact that I would definitely want the television show characters to be in it, and it would have to be a sequel or remake. A prequel wouldn't work with those characters very well. Oh and one more thing THERE WOULD BE NO DAWN! God I despise that spoiled, annoying little twit! I really wanted her to just get eaten by a big hairy blob demon, and shat out, and then flushed away forever into a sewer of doom! Oh and Faith would die! Muahahaha!

Alright I was searching on youtube and I came across this news clip about a remake of Buffy the vampire slayer, it was posted June 7, 2009. So check it out below:


Supposedly it will be a remake and there will be possibly a couple other Buffy movies after that one is made..wait, what? So they're saying they are doing this because of the money that was made from the Twilight craze? Don't get me wrong, I'm ALL for a Buffy remake. But then they say it... None of the characters or actors from the television show will be used in it. NO, damnit! This will ruin my hopes and dreams if it happens! When I think of another Buffy movie, I was really praying(Well maybe not praying) that they would use all the television show characters, just with a new story and such. I was hoping they would continue with those characters before the actors get old and die(I know that sounds macabre)! When will they get a chance to do something like that? Come on Joss Whedon, here my scream for a Buffy movie with the show characters!

Okay let's get back on track, so I go to my number 1 movie information source www.imdb.com and search for Buffy. A lot of stuff came up. but one thing in particular that caught my eye. According to IMDB a Buffy movie will be released in 2012, that's all the information that was released about it. So I'm not mad about anything yet, because nothing is confirmed as of right now. Until it does I will be waiting and when I figure it out I will let you guys know first thing!

So what would everyone picture a new Buffy movie to be like? Any characters do you think should be brought back into the mix? What about story lines, should it take place in Sunnydale, or should it start off fresh? Let's here it!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Buffy Villains

Buffy Villains:
Status: Buffy week

Okay today we are dipping into past of all the Buffy the vampire slayer villains. Now the really odd thing about the Buffy villains is that most of them seem fun and lovable. I always end up siding with the evil characters, but there's something that still makes them just as human and down to earth as Buffy. Now I'm not going to list EVERY single villain because that would take centuries, but here are some of the biggest and baddest and craziest looking of them all.




Spike- Spike is the blonde punk rock "big bad" vampire of several seasons of Buffy. He actually makes it up to the end and becomes more good than anything. I'm guessing Joss kept him in the show so long because everyone loved him. He's evil but at the same time completely lovable(He's such a hopeless romantic and always whining about his ex Drusilla). He's actually my favorite character in the entire show. What can I say? He's a fucking badass! Around season 5 he ends up falling in love with Buffy and tries to stake Drusilla to prove his love. Regardless of who he's in love with he's such a funny character and when he's evil I enjoy him even more. James Marsters is such a spectacular and beautiful actor.




Drusilla- The psychic psycho seductress vampire Drusilla enters Season 2 alongside Spike and shows no mercy. She is a soft spoken, porcelain doll obsessed seemingly calm vampire. She's sick at the beginning, but when she finally regains her strength we see a different and much more malicious vampire. In one episode Angel stops her from eating a little boy. She's also had a disturbing past with Angel, he tortured her and killed everyone around her that she loved before changing her into a vampire, which explains where all the mental problems came from. Seriously she acts loopy as fuck in every episode she's in, it's quite funny to watch. She appears in several episodes of Buffy and the spin off show Angel.




Mayor Wilkins- You find the mayor as the main villain in season three. He’s actually a pretty funny guy, good humored, cheerful, polite, and a total freak about cleanliness. A lot of the scenes he’s in I’ll just be laughing my balls off. He later on hires Faith and becomes like a father figure to her. He dresses like a car salesman and becomes immortal up until his ascension day where he transforms into a giant snake. Is it just me or does anyone else notice that there's like three giant snakes in each season of Buffy, haha. Anyways he snakes out and eats the principal, which I was totally digging because he was such an asshole to Buffy. We get to watch his head get cut in half and him eat a bunch of giant spiders(Ugh). He’s definitely one of the funniest and most interesting villains. Oh and did I mention he loves to play golf?!.




The Master- This is the head vampire guy, he actually killed Buffy in season 1. He’s a very old and ugly vampire. He looks identical to the cave dwelling creatures in “The Descent”. Except the guy has a vagina mouth, it's hard to look at him when he talks...and when he has blood on his mouth, okay you get my point. Then we have the fact that this guy dresses in some bondage type clothes and he just looks old and wrinkly. He reminds me of some old pervert, so as you can tell, I'm not much of a fan of his. It also doesn't help that he killed Buffy, shame on you masta!




Angelis- Oh when Angel loses his soul, this is his schizophrenic bad self. He becomes a completely insane murderous beast and attempts to torture and then destroy everything in his path. Now what causes him to lose his soul is another thing. He is cursed so that even if he gets one second of true happiness POOF there goes his soul. He just so happens to lose it after him and Buffy have sex, Buffy then on in season 2 has to kill him, but before he dies Willows spell turns him good again. Talk about shafted, huh? We think he emerges in season 4 where Faith tries to steal him from Buffy, but he's actually just acting to trick her, and it causes some major problems for Angel and Buffy.







Dark Willow- Okay there are two different evil Willows and we don't want to get them mixed up do we? Alright the first one we saw in season 3, and that was vampire Willow. A sadistic vampire vixen that enjoys torturing people and feeding off their fear and well, blood. It's really fun to see vampire Willow because she arrives at such a perfect time and it's hilarious to watch her beat the crap out of the dumb, mean jock, Percy. Percy was using Willow to do his homework so he could graduate and vampire Willow shows him what's up, so after that incident he never messes with Willow again, and even does his school work. Then we have the skillful, almighty witch, dark Willow in season 6. After Tara, Willows lover is shot she loses every bit of humanity to get revenge. She is completely consumed by the dark arts and is therefore changed into dark Willow. After she gets revenge, she even tries to annihilate the world. It's extremely fun to watch little innocent Willow just wreaking havok on shit. But Xander comes to save the day, confessing his love for Willow, so she will come back.




Faith- Yes, we're back to Faith again, because she was one of the more popular villains and kept coming back when she should have been DEAD. Where to begin with her, oh yeah she tries to kill every person in the Scooby gang, but fails miserably because she's a dumb slut. She joined Mayor Wilkins for his ascension and tried to help him eat all the kids at graduation, but ends up being put in a coma before that happens. She just keeps coming back and failing, I don't even know why she tried. Anyways the white trash princess comes out of nowhere in season 3 because she is being pursued by vampires and thinks she can use Buffy to help her. Then she wears out her welcome in Sunnydale and constantly causes problems for the scooby gang.




Adam- Adam was constructed by Professor Walsh from pieces of demons, human, and metal in season 4. In other words he looked like a awkward ass frankenstein/terminator baby, a really big and mean one. Adam wanted to learn about himself and Riley(he thought they were like brothers) and wanted to turn everyone into half demon/half human zombies. He was created as a super marine to kill all opposing enemies, but obviously something went wrong. So Adam goes homicidal, but while planning his war on humanity he hides out in a cave he discovered in Sunnydale. The thing about Adam is, he was also really smart and destructive. Professor Walsh made several disks, which Adam could insert into his chest to know everything. Professor Walsh should actually be included as a villain with Adam because she created him and tried to kill Buffy as well. The only thing he found beautiful was killing people and playing with their guts. Buffy actually has to have her friends invoke some kind of strong spirit to possess her to take Adam down, which works delightfully.




Glory- Glory is a very special villain from season 5 because she's not just your normal annoying monster. Glory is actually a god, a very pretty god who dresses in cute clothes. She also is a very odd creature because she shares her body with her brother Ben. It makes for some comedic scenes when Glory changes into Ben and he's wearing Glory's short red dress. Ben is somewhat muscular and tallish so it makes for some funny stuff. I can relate to Glory she's not to fond of people, and loves shoe shopping, my kinda girl. I seriously enjoyed myself so much waiting to see what she would be wearing next. Glory also has several scabby, big-nose, short-ish minions who do her bidding. Since she's a god she has no feelings and has to suck people's brains out to survive. She pushes her fingers into people's heads and sucks brains out through her fingers, then regains all her energy. But when she hasn't had anything to eat, she gets weak and tires out, hence the minions collect someone for her to consume. Buffy smashes her various times with a trolls hammer and then she transforms into Ben and Giles suffocates him, it's pretty cool.




Caleb- Caleb is a deranged serial killer priest who hunts down and slaughters potential slayers. He's extremely powerful and even pokes out Xanders eye in season 7, which really upsets me! Poor Xander he is always getting fucked over in like every single episode, haha. Anyways I have to bring up that Caleb is played by Nathan Fillion, hell yeah! Anyways one thing I think of when I see priests is pedophile, so therefore he's pretty creepy.




The Gentlemen- The gentlemen only show up in one episode, but in other episodes we do see some creatures that look similar to them. We are introduced to these demented, smiling, floating doctors in the episode "Hush" of season 4. They basically look like skeletons(except with a thin layer of white flesh stretched across their being) in nicely ironed suits, they also have metal teeth(They're mouths are stuck in huge smiles). These strange creatures were actually born from fairy tales that's why it takes the gang so long to figure out how to stop them. First they take away everyone's voices and then they float around in the middle of the night and cut out certain people's hearts, which they keep in jars. They need a total of 7 hearts to do what they do, but their heads end up exploding after Buffy gets her voice back and screams her face off(Not literally). They also have a group of minions that do their dirty work. They are these wild creatures that run around all crazy like in straight jackets, you just have to watch the episode yourself.




Warren, Johnathan, And Andrew(The Trio)
These three guys have been in other seasons of Buffy randomly, but in season 6 is where they really get together and decide it's time to take over Sunnydale. There's one thing to say about these three goofy guys, they never seem to learn their lesson! These boys are Dungeon and Dragon geeks gone bad, but not really bad. Warren made a sexbot girl that got loose among college kids and threw Spike threw a window and afterwards tried to choke to death his real girlfriend, Jonathan cast a strong spell over Sunnydale that made him a celebrity and everyone puppets in his little play until Buffy caught on, and Andrew decided to unleash demon flying monkeys upon Sunnydale high during a play. You think they are bad when they are separated, just wait till you see these guys in action together, they are fucking hilarious. They raise a demon to rob a bank for them then after that they decide it's time to find out Buffy's weaknesses for when she comes after them. With their stolen money they buy a ton of high tech equipment to monitor public places and put bugs on people. They follow Buffy around in their black rape van and stalk her, it's fantastic. They become as Buffy says "a pain in her butt" for the rest of the season 6.

So give me some insight, even if they are not on the list, who's everyone's favorite Buffy Villain?

Friday, June 4, 2010

Eli Roth Talks More About The Last Exorcism

TMZ caught up to Eli Roth after he left the hospital to get the scoop on The last exorcism and see his freshly removed stitches from those pesky sea urchins. Also that really freaks me out that Eli could have died, I'm so glad he's okay! Whew!

Anyways follow this link to get more on it:
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=1cfe6d04-20b9-4ecf-9fa9-0efa08871f17









Buffy Week, Why Not Make It Month!

Okay so I think I'm going to stretch Buffy the vampire slayer week into Buffy month. Because I really have so much more that I want to write about, and it will give all my guest bloggers time to complete their posts. So I thought it wouldn't hurt to give us some more time for all things Buffy!

Anyone else want to volunteer to write a post, just let me know!

Hope everyone is doing good and have a Buffy-rific weekend! Yeah, that's the best I could come up with.. I know, I'm a cheeseball.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Buffy Board Games!

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Board Game
Status: Buffy Week
Publisher: Hasbro And Milton Bradley





I also wasn't aware that these two Buffy the vampire slayer board games existed, but now that I do, I want to purchase them! The first board game we are going to talk about is the official Buffy board game. In this game you can play with 2-5 of your friends, the playing time is pinned at around 90 minutes and the age of the players is 12 and up. You play as one of the scooby gang and it's up to you to save Sunnydale from the vampire master, the mayor, Adam, and many other villains trying to destroy the town and world. Whoever can beat evil to death first wins! Comes with game board, pewter Buffy icon, Phases Chart centerpiece, 5 Good Player & 13 Evil Player pawns and stands, 84 Evil, Weapon, Research, Help & Artifact cards, 4 Villain tiles, 4 Good Player cardholders, 1 Evil card stand, 10 dice, 10 life counters.
Here's where I got the information for the game(I haven't got a chance to play it yet), check it out if you have any questions about it:
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/805/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-the-game-us









Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Conversations With Dead People" Ouija Board
Publisher: DH Delux, Joss Whedon




The second game they came out with is actually a Buffy the vampire slayer Ouija board. It's a very cool looking board and planchette. It follows the same rules as any normal ouija board, it just has a unique look. If you don't know how to use a ouija board listen up! Okay you and however many of your friends can fit around the board do so, you all place two of your pointy fingers on the planchette (the small piece on the board you move around), then you begin asking questions to the spirit world. Whether you do it in a graveyard, haunted house, or the safety of your own room you may get results. Your supposed to start out moving it a bit slowly and then letting the ghost at hand take it to spell stuff out. Now I can say I've never gotten good results on one of these things, I actually have a awesome glow in the dark ouija board. But hey on a dark stormy night, alone at home, they are extremely fun to dick around with. And especially to scare your friends with.

Anyways hope you enjoyed. My next post coming is about Buffy villains, stay tuned!