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Friday, August 28, 2009

15 Most Uncomfortable Movie Moments

Okay these were basically off the top of my head,but i think i've compiled a great list!Anyways if you haven't seen these movies you might not want to read on because there are MAJOR SPOILERS!These are not all horror movies,there from several different generes.These are just movies that have parts in them that make you want to stop the DVD walk out of the room and take a breather.Yes,that's right!Some of the most uncomfortably fucked up moments that you can possibly witness in a movie.Moments that make you want to turn to the person beside you and ask "do you feel as wrong about watching this as i do"?Well i'm not going to put these in any particular order,but here goes....
Here's the list,in case you'd like to see what movies before i get started.Don't want to ruin anything for anyone.If you just don't care more power to you,haha.
(Nothing but trouble,The doom generation,The funhouse,American history X/Pulp fiction,Evil dead,Volver,Visitor Q,Sleepaway camp,Ginger snaps,Meatball machine,Freeway 2:confessions of a trick baby,Terror firmer,Sleepers,The last house on the left/i spit on your grave,and Wrong turn 2).

15.)NOTHING BUT TROUBLE(1991)-I know,i know,i'm starting off a little gentle with this movie.Alright now do you remember the dinner scene in this movie at all?Dan Aykroyd as the withered old judge disgustingly stuffing his face with the nastiest looking hot dogs.I mean they have that long skin type shit hanging off of them.It made me cringe and turn in my seat a little,like "ahhh why"?!.Now we're not stopping there what about the fat,sweaty,michlon looking junkyard twins?!.Just a little bit uncomfortable.Okay that's nothing compared to what lies ahead..moving on..

dan aykroyd nothing but trouble Pictures, Images and Photos

14.)The Funhouse(1981)-This is a great,great movie.It's eventually going to be remade(like every movie) by Eli Roth.I'm going to have to say it'll be one of the only remakes i'll be looking forward to.Well in this Tobe Hooper 1981 classic we have a big ol' monster/mongoloid killer getting jerked off by a old raggedy fortune teller in exchange for some cash.I don't know about you,but that's not on my list of things i want to see.I guess prostitutes don't discriminate,even against those murdering mongoloids!Somewhere along the line someone needs to tell this woman she needs to do something else to support her alcohol addiction.Not get me wrong i'm glad this lady didn't take off her lingerie,but she still shouldn't be prancing around in it.

the funhouse

13.)American History X(1998)/Pulp Fiction(1994)-I had to squish some of these together,because i think i had to many rape movies on my list.So here's two really disturbing rape scenes that made me feel all icky and awkward inside.Edward Norton in american history x being held down and raped by skinheads in the shower.Then it makes it even worse when he has the skinheads still antagonizing him after he gets his butt stitched up.Then in Pulp fiction when the big crazy hick takes Bruce Willis and Ving Rhames hostage in a room under his shop.He calls a cop and you almost think "Well maybe he's going to get them arrested".Nope, instead him and the cop "Zed" start a rape party all up on Ving Rhames bum bum.But no worries kids Willis as in most cases comes to the rescue!!These are seriously two scenes that i just can't watch.I get that dirty feeling all over the place.Most of you probably agree!

American Histroy X Pictures, Images and Photos

12.)Ginger Snaps(2000)-This is definately one of my favorites to watch with people.Not only that it's by far one the greatest werewolf movies you will EVER lay eyes upon,but it makes people(especially guys) uncomfortable.Can you guess why that is?The period scenes,ohhh if it's one thing guys can't handle it's when females talk about ovulation.If they don't openly announce they're complete disgust,you can just tell by the expressions on people's faces while watching.So if you enjoy making people feel all kinds of weird,invite some of your male friends over and pop this one in.

ginger snaps Pictures, Images and Photos

11.)The Evil Dead(1981)-Here we have Sam Raimi's amazing classic " the evil dead".Now the reason i chose this one,is for one reason,and one reason only...TREE RAPE!Now i understand the woods are possessed,ohhh scary.But you know what's much more frightening then an average everyday case of haunted woods,you guessed it!When tree's have the ability to rape people.Let me just give major kudos to Ellen Sandweiss for being the victim of this odd event.You can't say everyday that you see someone get violated by a tree branch,and not to mention SPLINTERS!Come on people am i the only one who thinks about this kind of stuff...wait...i very well might be...I mean could she get knocked up and birth saplings?All the unanswered questions that follow a brutal tree rape..I just throw my hands up and hope one day i'll meet Mr. Raimi and get some concrete answers!

10.)The Doom Generation(1995)-This is flat out one of my favorite movies ever,i absolutely adore Gregg Araki!!Gregg is very good at adding a lot of perverse/sexual type dialogue in his movies.This is exactly what landed him in my list.The scene in Doom Generation where Johnathon Schaech is creepily watching Rose Mcgowan and James Duvall have sex in the bathroom.It doesn't stop there oh no,he masturbates too them and when he's finished licks the cum off of his hand.Try watching that with a friend and not feeling a little bit perturbed about it.He couldn't just pick up a porn mag and jerk it somewhere else...

9.)The last house on the left(1972)/I spit on your grave(1978)-Again i had to push a couple a these rape movies together.Wes Craven's original "the last house on the left" and Meir Zarchi's "I spit on your grave".These are both disturbing rape and torture women movies.Alright i chose these seperate from the other rape movies,because these are both prolonged rape scenes.Not just a BAM i raped you runaway type deal.These are horrendous make you squirm in your seat torment rape sequences.I bet when these came out people couldn't even sit through them.A couple more to add to the list that came out around the same time would also be "the nailgun massacre" and "i drink your blood".In "the last house on the left" the girls are subjected to different types of humiliation such as "pissing their pants" and "kissing eachother".In "I spit on your grave" we have a group of guys chasing down and raping one girl repeaditly.They are both revenge movies though,so the villians get what they deserve in the end.Uncomfortable scenes,oh fuck yes.

jenny from i spit on your grave. Pictures, Images and Photos

8.)Sleepaway Camp(1983)-Alright,this isn't your ordinary camp horror movie.Your getting strung along through this little girl Angela's(Felissa Rose)first time at camp,and what do you know kids are being murdered one by one for their evil deeds to her.It's actually pretty funny,because you find yourself cheering for the murderer(or at least i do,haha).Anyways let's just cut to the end of the movie and let's freeze frame and observe what we have.AHHH,NO ANGELA HAS A PENIS!Anyone who says this didn't surprise the piss out of them is lying their ballz off!The reason this is an uncomfortable moment,not because she has a penis,but because she's a 12 year old girl with a penis.I think Robert Hiltzik might have been possibly attempting to give people heart attacks along with the life long complex.On a side note this movie was followed by Sleepaway camp 2:unhappy campers,Sleepaway camp 3:Teenage wasteland,and Return to sleepaway camp.All fucking awesome movies!

7.)Sleepers(1996)-Also another rape movie,i promise this is almost the last.Anyways this is a totally different kind of story then the other rape movies i've addressed.4 boys after accidentally almost killing a guy are sent to a juvenile detention center.While incarcerated they are all beaten,and repeaditly sexually abused by the guards.This one really picks at your nerves..i mean teenage boys being tortured like that is gut wrenching.The total claustrophbic energy you just get from these boys being trapped,and having no way to escape is fucking horrible.The vibes this movie smacks you with are blatantly unnerving.I still can barely watch that movie without feeling sick.Alright this is getting depressing it's time to move on.

sleepers movie Pictures, Images and Photos

6.)Terror Firmer(1999)-Troma,Troma,Troma baby!You know you can't hear the word "Uncomfortable" without thinking TROMA.This lovely and most up front offensive and perverse masterpiece is directed by one of my favorites,Mr Lloyd Kaufman himself.This is yet another of my most cherished faves.I think about every single thing in this movie could be deemed uncomfortable to the everyday joe,but not to us Tromites!So i had to think about it a bit and chose something REALLY off the wall.So i decided on the scene where the killer feeds his caged deformed dad(Ron jeremey) his own pickled penis.You heard me right,the man is obsessed with pickling things,especially genitals.For another little tid bit,the killer is a psycho mad whoa shemale.(There always the most ferocious)!

5.)Volver(2006)-Written and directed by Pedro Almodovar,this is another twisted tale of a dysfunctional family.The scene between Penelope Cruz's character and her mother(Carmen Maura) takes the cake for this one.(Quick side note,her mother also was thought to have been dead for years).I would have to say it's more of a shock story,but you still shiver with that icky feeling inside.Anyways in this conversation we uncover that Penelope's husband is not the father of her daughter,but her own biological father is.The way this secret is revealed is completely intense and quite sad.Not to mention one day she promises to tell her daughter who her real father is...AWKWARD!You just get that feeling of dread for Penelope's character.Anyways i've only described a tiny portion of what goes on in this flick,if you haven't seen it it's one to look out for!

4.)Wrong Turn 2:Dead End(2007)-Oh how i loves me some Joe Lynch!And if you don't i want you to click the X in the corner of the screen and take these next couple of minutes to reevaluate your life.The first Wrong Turn was crap,and i have a feeling the 3rd is going to follow.But Mr. Lynch as you've noticed has gracefully saved number 2,and also bitch slapped us with some awesomely disturbing scenes!The one scene in particular is the mongoloid sister and brother having sexual relations on a tree stump.Okay let's go into reasons why this is so uncomfortable...1.These are absolutely disgusting looking inbred mongoloids.2.They are brother and sister(incest is best,huh)?3.They are rudely interupted in the middle of sex by 4 of the apocolypse game contestants.5.)They have to pull up they're pants and go fight them after they are interupted in the middle of incestuous mongo sex!This scene repeaditly rapes your eye balls with uncomfortableness!

3.)Visitor Q(2001)-He is well known for his 1999 flick "Audition",but in a much sicker manner Takashi Miike brings you "Visitor Q".Now if i ever create a "Sickest movies" list,this will be somewhere at the top of the list.I'm talking this whole movie is filled to the brim with flat out sadistic and perverted shit.Including..incest,necrophilia,murder,rape,pornography,and all kinds of fun goodies!The moment in this traumatizingly hilarious movie i chose was the milking scene.

2.)Freeway 2:Confessions of a trick baby(1999)-Sister Gomez has a penis and has been shooting sex video's with little kids.And it doesn't stop there,sister Gomez is a cannibal as well.

1.)Meatball Machine(2005)-You ever had aliens inside you having sex?I rest my case!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Inglourious Basterds Was Glorious!

Inglourious Bastards Pictures, Images and Photos

I'm pretty sure everyone in the entire world has already seen Inglourious Basterds as soon as it was released last Friday.But if for some ungodly reason you haven't i want you to A.)punch yourself right in the nose and B.)GO SEE IT!!Jesus what kind of motivation do you need people?!?.Okay i have been waiting for this movie ever since i got word it was in the making.Okay first off,it's a Tarantino flick,yep i went there.And secondly and much more importantly one of the stars is none other than Eli Roth.I hear the name Eli Roth and i jump up and scream "WHERE"?!?.

cabin fever Pictures, Images and Photos

Ever since i discovered his 2002 beautiful masterpiece "Cabin Fever" i've been in love.I'm so in love with Eli as a director i was even quite upset about his acting career,because let's face it,it's taking quite a bit of time out of his writing/directing.I'm completely on edge for his next two upcoming projects,which if you don't know about will now..His very next movie is going to be a Sci-fi thriller entitled "Endangered Species".Then coming closely behind that one is based off his Grindhouse Faux trailer horror flick "Thanksgiving".The Trailer was enough to make me punch the person next to me out of pure delight.I'm HIGHLY anticipating this full length gore-fest!Not to mention he'll be guest starring in Alex Aja's remake of the 1978 classic "Piranha"(which will be in 3-D) as a wet t-shirt host,and he's producing the horror flick "Cotton".

Eli Roth Pictures, Images and Photos

Okay,back to the subject at hand.Eli Roth plays the "bear jew" Donny Donowitz,his signature weapon:a baseball bat(signed by jewes that he's going to use to bash as many nazi heads as he can with).Anyways as you might have gathered already,he's part of the invincible nazi killing troupe so named "The Basterds" by the nazi's themselves.Let me just personally state Eli is such fantastic eye candy for the big screen.I mean he's Eli Roth,he's fucking gorgeous!!He's had a few cameo's in the past(Cabin fever,Death proof,Hostel,and his own Thanksgiving trailer),but Eli can fucking act.Not one second of him on screen bored me a bit.I mean he went from his tiny cameo's in Troma movies to acting right beside Brad Pitt.Talk about imtimidating for your first big part in a movie.They worked wonderfully side by side,and not to mention they both created fantastic accents for themselves.Speaking of Eli's Boston accent and Brad's hillbilly tone.And maybe just someday they'll work together again,i just hope it's Eli directing.(Not saying anything bad about him acting again,i just adore his movies to much).

inglourious_bastard_4 Pictures, Images and Photos

Just on a side note,this is not any sort of review for Inglourious Basterds.I think i'll rewatch it a couple more times before i get to one.I just really f'n love Eli Roth and had to express it to anyone who will listen,haha.Anyways like i said this movie is supurb,truly the movie of the summer.I would definately rate it a 5/5 stars,no questions asked!

Well until next time,tata.

Monday, August 24, 2009

John Wayne Rumor

Okay so this caught my attention,and frankly i couldn't stop laughing.Alright so i'm in the middle of the book "Hollywood Urban Legends" by Richard Roeper.I usually don't care that much about Hollywood Cinema,but come on people,who doesn't want to read about urban legends.These ridiculous rumors get better and better every year.Not to mention some good ol' classic urban legends.This one just happens to spot light the ever famous John Wayne.A popular actor in mainly Westerns back in the 1920's through the 1970's.Well this hilariously constructed rumor has been placed on more than just him...even Elvis.Eeek!

the duke Pictures, Images and Photos

So here it is,as stated in Roeper's book."Wayne was such a meat-eating fiend that,when he died,his autopsy revealed 40 pounds of impacted fecal matter lodged in his colon".Okay,okay i know that there are a lot of messed up UL's out there,BUT WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?.Who in they're right mind would start a rumor about how much shit was built up in someone's ass.Famous or not...if this is what you spend your days thinking about you need a psychiatric evaluation!I can understand and/or take into consideration a lot of really odd urban legends,but this one i just can't...haha.Not to mention you'd have to have a really wild imagination to believe something of that nature.I mean you'd have to be a mortician to even be able to obtain that type of information.Call me crazy,but i don't see many morticians talking casually over dinner about John Wayne's poop.I think they have more important things to spend they're time on.And other people SHOULD have more important things to spend they're time on.But i guess if it wasn't for these people,i wouldn't be laughing right now.

poop Pictures, Images and Photos

So after my outburst of laughter ended,I was just left with the curiousity of that thought.The shit that people come up with nowadays(no pun intended).I'm only left shaking my head in amusement,just wondering what WILL they come up with next?!.Stay tuned for any more completely stupid Urban Legends i might run across.

Monday, August 10, 2009

The Master Of Disguise - Gary Oldman

I've put a lot of crazy movie psycho thought into it and I've finally come to a conclusion. Gary Oldman is in fact the master of movie disguise! Oh oh oh do you feel the excitement?!. Now this wonderful man as graced us with his presence in many great movies! When I say many, I do mean MANY! From "Sid and Nancy" to "Bram Stokers Dracula" he's just tickled my fancy. I'm highly convinced that this amazing actor could play any part unexpectedly thrown at him. This is someone that can put on a dreadie wig, fake scars on his face, talk with a Jamaican accent and sell it as a real person. In "True Romance" he actually pitched that whole character concept. Tony Scott with his trusting encouragement said "Run with it", and that he did. You want more reasons of why this man holds this title. I'll be more than happy to entertain your curiosity. Here's a short list of movies that you may or may not have recognized him in.

-True Romance(1993)Drexl Spivy- As I was speaking of earlier. His performance in this movie was let alone a shock. Him making you believe a white drug dealer would be parading around in cheetah print, dreadies, and scars thinking that he's black. I mean the whole idea of it is just ridiculous! I'm quite aware that there are copious amounts of weird individuals out there. But I've never in my life met one like this, have you? Didn't think so. His accent in it was also matched the attire perfectly. I mean just listen to the way he delivers that dialogue, completely unrestrained and confident. His attitude that says "fuck you, I'm god" in that role is just like.."wow i can't believe Gary Oldman just said all that shit dressed like that and I'm totally digging it". Just all around kudos for another well done movie!

Gary Oldman Pictures, Images and Photos

-Bram Stokers Dracula(1992) Vlad the impaler- I don't know if it's the long Fabio hair to the very creepy old vampire make-up. But if I would have watched this not knowing he was already in it, I would have had to take a double take. Here he plays the ever intriguing immortal Dracula. Gary pulls off the handsome, and romantic vampire in love with Mina(played by the lovely and talented Winona Ryder) beautifully. His display of his sorrow over his long dead wife that plagues him just bursts on the screen, then he does a 360 to his evil "I've been dead millions of years,fuck you" vampire persona. This is a immaculate version of the Dracula franchise movies. You really want to be on Gary's side as the tortured soul whose lived a life of sadness. Instead of a flat out blood thirsty (bite everyone) vampire.

Bram Stokers Dracula Pictures, Images and Photos

-The Fifth Element(1997)Zorg- Okay the hillbilly type accent is adorable, yet laughable. He plays the evil wealthy industrialist whose after the stones to control the universe or what not. Anyways this is a movie based wayyy in the future, so goofy costumes and all are in effect. Not to mention his funny little comb over. His performance just keeps me constantly laughing in this flick. Yet again with his whole get up you have to think, "Gary Oldman is that you"? He really has a way with evil characters, which is awesome, because I'm one of those people who usually cheers for the evil side in movies. Yeah, yeah I can't help's so much more fun that way. This is a futuristic comedy, not meant to be serious. He just really take his character to a new level. God, I heart this movie!

Fifth Element Pictures, Images and Photos

-Sid And Nancy(1986)Sid- Wow, talk about the hot young Gary Oldman. In this movie he portrays the heroine addict, punk musician Sid Vicious. In my opinion this is the best performance of his career, not to mention he actually strongly resembles Sid Vicious! It's rare that someone can play a junkie accurately, but he does it, and does it fucking good. The scene in the subway where he actually blows a snot bubble out of his nose as he's going through withdraws, he hooked me. Haha, you have to love it! Gary after losing weight to play this part, lost a little to much, and ended up shortly hospitalized. Now that's some major dedication, jeopardizing your own health for a movie. If you haven't seen this go out and rent it! One word for Gary's performance in this movie is INTENSE.

Sid and Nancy Pictures, Images and Photos

-Hannibal(2001)Mason Verger- I saved this movie for last, because I in fact HAD NO FUCKING CLUE THAT WAS GARY OLDMAN! I had watched the movie several times before noticing in the credits that, that was Gary. Yes, he plays A cripple with a completely disfigured face who has to eat through a tube. But this is a character that you would slap your knee about and be like "Damn that's a character". He plays one of Hannibal's surviving victims that Hannibal convinced to cut his own face off and feed it to his dog, then later salty about the incident is hell bent on revenge. This Verger character always made me laugh (I'm just a wee bit demented)and totally creep me out. I mean when Clarice has to get close to his face in the shadows...just a bit gross and freaky. I thought he might lunge out to lick her face or something. Anyways as always he sports a completely different and original accent. I sometimes find myself talking to people in it, and further my reputation of being a weirdo. This is definitely his most odd, yet outstanding part in a movie. I have to keep reminding myself that it's actually him. God damn Gary Oldman you are a tricky mother fucker!

mason Pictures, Images and Photos

Well wrapping it up on my Gary Oldman rant. He is one of the most versatile, creative, attractive, and just plain fucking badass actors out there! That's what makes him the greatest Master of disguise in my book! Pure talent all over on his behalf, he earned it!


Aleata Illusion