Bloodbath in the house of knives(2010)
Director: Ted Moehring
Status: Screener Review
Okay this film I received from writer/director/producer/editor/cinematographer Ted Moerhing. That's a true independent filmmaker right there, doing everything yourself! This is Ted's first movie and he describes it as "a Giallo homage in the tradition of Bava and Argento". It's being released by Alpha video and will be available July 27th. The movie is available to pre-order on Amazon and other online sellers for those of you interested. This was also one of the movies mentioned in Troma founder Lloyd Kaufmans book "make your own damn movie"!. Man I really don't know how Lloyd does so many movies all the time, he must be the busiest man in the film world! So lets get onto the review kiddies!
The plot/story is quite simple to follow and predictable. Bloodbath in the house of knives is a cheesy slaughter movie about a girl named Ivy (Anne Reiss) who is being stalked by a gold masked killer. Detective Bliss (Joseph Michael) is assigned to the case and together they try to figure it out. So we get tits in the first 5 minutes of the movie, which is always a good sign to me. The opening scene they get right to business with the killer murdering a girl right off the bat. Not to mention she has her throat brutally slashed and is then raped with a knife(AWESOME)! Then we get to meet our heroine who is receiving threatening phone calls from a random creeper. I just don't understand why she wouldn't have reported that to the cops sooner. They set up a number of suspicious characters that the killer could be throughout the movie, but it's not a big surprise when you find out in the end who it is. Anyways Ivy is put under surveillance by the police, but everyone around her ends up dead as disco. That is until the killer decides that they are done playing and it's time for the big reveal. And the plot thickens and the torture begins...well somewhat. Until the detective senses something is wrong and comes back to check on Ivy. The ending is pretty unexciting, but effective enough for the popcorn horror audience.
First off I have to point out the cover art, it's fantastic! Hey, the cover art is an important part of your movie, you want to attract an audience. It's a major plus in the business. Right when I look at it I think "grindhouse flick". I would have to say this is quite a popcorn flick. Now let's move on to the movie itself. The editing was really good, this movie was pieced together very well. The special FX were all really good and natural looking except for the stab at the end of the movie, I don't understand what happened there. So high five to the special FX team Marnie Beitz and Tyler Rankin. A scene that I'm fond of is the one where the girl is tied up and her flesh is being pierced with those long needles. Always an enjoyable sight to behold. There's a good soundtrack to the film as well, it's a mix of punk-ish to metal-ish music. The basic soundtrack was okay as well, like I said the editing was really well done. Of course there was a homage to Dario Argento's lighting in films, which always works out nicely I think. It's a slick way to enhance the tension in movies and really adds to the atmosphere. And of course I have to bring up it was awesome to see Mr. Lloyd Kaufman pop up in it, he always puts a smile on my face.
Now onto the downs of the movie. The acting aside from Lloyd Kaufman and the actress who is answering the cops questions at her door, was horrid. The actors delivered their lines to quickly without taking a moment to think or breathe it seemed. So all their dialogue comes out all mumbled together, and it's hard to get into these characters when they are badly portrayed. There's really no connection to the characters, so we don't give a crap if they get offed or not. That's not always a bad thing in a movie though, it can be extremely fun to cheer for the deaths of people. There's always that one character that your like, "god damnit if someone does not rape that fucker with a hammer and then bash his brains out, I'm going to lose my mind"! The blonde guy who's talking about just buying a pair of gloves when it's clearly summerish out had me laughing for about two hours. I know, I know, I'm easily amused. I know why it was placed into the plot, but I still find it hilarious. I don't think that's something that anyone would usually question. But I'm not anyone, so yeah.
All in all this is a movie to sit back and watch while your getting crunk. You'll find it has everything a popcorn slasher needs...boobs, blood, and a crazed maniac. Isn't that what life is about? Yeah, I thought so! You can count on me to keep any eye out on any new Ted Moehring projects in the future.
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