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Friday, November 6, 2009

Double Feature (The Uninvited/A Tale Of Two Sisters)

The Uninvited(2009)/A Tale Of Two Sisters(2003)

Alright just for the record this wasn't supposed to be the first double feature I was going to do. But things worked out this way. So my "Double Features" are original movies and their much worse counterpart;their remake. I have a bunch in the works I'm just always busy busy busy, but here's the first one in this wonderful category. "The Uninvited" and "A tale of two sisters".
Alright so the basic concept of this movie is a girl gets released from a mental hospital after enduring the effects of her mothers death and her father, sister and soon to be step mother greet her when she arrives home. After awhile she starts to realize that something is not right at all. She gets all kinds of crazy notions about her (soon to be) step mother, which leads to a string of confusing, and disastrous events. "The uninvited" is really simple and easy to follow, but on the other hand "A tale of two sisters" will lose you until the end. That's the great thing about "A tale of two sisters" you really have to pay close attention to every small detail.

Remaking one of my favorite movies "A tale of two sisters" with all this shit is extremely disappointing. *Picks up a rusty ice pick and stabs myself in the eyeballs* Whhhhy?!. No,I don't want to know what could have possibly been going through someones mind when they remade this. Not to mention throwing Elizabeth Banks in there as the evil step mother, that's like throwing a dick in my ear out of a dark alley. A dark alley that I was convinced was a candy shop. Are you starting to see where I'm going with this? And I can't understand why they would try to push Mrs. Banks boobs up in extremely awkward positions to attempt to make them look bigger. Elizabeth Banks gives off happy go lucky vibes in every movie I see her in. She's a very smiley cheerful looking person, which I'm not by any means saying that's a bad thing, it's great! I think she's a wonderful actress, and she's played many hilarious and awesome parts. But she is in no way intimidating, it kills the entire movie. BAM Fail! I realize the wicked step mother is all in her head, but it's the way the character is perceived by the girl. And she sees the step mother as an ominous person whom murdered her mother. Pop me some popcorn and put mother fuckin' Bai Ling or even Rose Mcgowan in the part as the evil step mother. Give me some real threatening and creepy aspects. If your going to put on your director shoes and remake a fucking instant classic like "A tale of two sisters" fucking do it right! So I frown upon the Guard brothers remake, a wholllle lot!

Alright let's start from the beginning when I first heard about this movie it was from my sister Brittany. She told me it was really similar to "A tale of two sisters", so I wasn't sure if it was a remake yet. So I went walking in the dark of night through some sassy fall leaves and rented it. Just a little fact I want to throw in here, "A tale of two sisters" has one of the best movie covers I've ever seen. Take a peek here:

Alright now let's take a minute to compare it to this piece of poo:

What's the verdict people? Yeah, I thought you'd see it my way.

Another thing why would they rename it "The Uninvited", wow that really has no relation to the movie whatsoever. I don't know what angle they were trying to come from with that. It's also completely ridiculous how OBVIOUS they make everything. The sisters presence or lack of. They have her leaving the room after 2 frickin seconds in every god damn scene. They in no way made it inconspicuous. You can clearly tell that all the actual living characters are looking past her. They did the dead girl scenes so horribly I literally laughed at it for a split second then proceeded to yawn. In the original you feel a deep connection between the two sisters, in this remake it all feels very fake. They don't capture that same type of love that the sisters convey with each other. It's impossible for anyone to replicate what Kim Jee-Woon has created, and also the absolutely astounding cinematography shot by Lee Mo-Gae.
This is psychological horror at it's very best! This is a movie not even Chuck Pallanicks "Fight Club" can keep up with.(Aleata fact:I love "Fight Club")! They ruined the scariest scene in the movie with that Ginger kid and CGI, good fucking job! Let's just slap ginger kids with bad corpse make-up and slap those same gingers with some CGI effects and we've got some scary shit! No, no you don't god dammit!

I mean you don't understand what a fucking masterpiece they ruined unless you've previously viewed "A tale of two sisters". They turned it into another American piece of trash! I tried to like this movie, I have such love and respect for the original that I tried to give it a chance (For the sole fact that someone enjoyed it enough to remake it), but I really couldn't. People only care about money, not the movies! Their comedy aspects failed! "A tale of two sisters" also had one of the greatest scores I've ever heard, it really pulls you into the mood of the movie. There's a lot of stuff they left out which is obvious to anyone who knows their movies. It's not like I condone identical remakes, it's sometimes good if people try a completely different route, it's just they pulled all the really good and interesting stuff. Which again makes the remake a complete and utter bore. I really don't think that American directors put any thought into the Asian films they remake. It's basically a trendy happening thing going on now. They see that "The Ring" and "The Grudge" sold, so they start going after plenty more including "One missed call" (which was actually supposed to be my first double feature), "Pulse"(I didn't even like the original to that movie), and "Dark Water". There's so many more I'm just throwing out some examples.

I could give "The uninvited" props for one thing only in the whole movie, and that is the shot with the boy with the broken/twisted back. I thought the effects on that were pretty neat and creepy. Nevertheless it doesn't compare to the scene in "a tale of two sisters" with the girl under the cupboard in the kitchen. You know what? I actually might put that on my list of creepiest horror/psychological thriller movie moments! It would be high on my list. Alright well I'm going to wrap this up, so I don't go into incoherent ramblings.In conclusion "The uninvited" is not worth seeing in my opinion. And if you haven't seen "A tale of two sisters" yet, what's wrong with you..GO NOW AND RENT/BUY IT!

The Uninvited:0/5
A Tale Of Two Sisters:5/5

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