Merry X-Mas!!

Merry Christmas everyone in horror movie land!Hope it's as enjoyable for you as it was for me!Plus I made totally badass Christmas cookies!=]
Anyone get any bangin movies this holiday season?
I received Jaws 3,Zombie strippers,Class of 1984,and Private parts!YaY!
Movies i bought myself for Christmas are;My little eye,the Texas chainsaw massacre the next generation,Slither,When a stranger calls,Fight club,Evil dead 2,Monty Python and the holy grail,and the million dollar hotel!Yeah,i know,i get a little out of control buying myself presents.Haha.

It's A Winter Horrorland!

It’s A Winter Horrorland

Hello,Hello you lovely horror movie fanatic's!I finally have access to a computer long enough to create a new post.This will be the first edition of my favorite Winter/Christmas themed collection of horror flicks.These are the movies that get you into a festive mood for the Winter season and upcoming Holidays.The gorgeous snow covered fields that stretch on in the sunset,Holiday celebrations with friends and family,snowmen piled up in yards with smiles decorated across their faces,and then you see that bright red blood spraying over the beautiful glittering snow and get even more excited and joyous.I was racking my brain half of today to come up with the list,so I decided on some really good ones!Comment below and let me know if I missed any good ones and/or suggest some to me.Again these are not in any particular order,aside from number one,which I loves!Oh,and spoiler alert right now!Sometimes I slip up and don’t even mean to,so I always gotta pop up those spoiler alerts!Don't want to ruin anything for anyone.=]

10.)Wind Chill(2007):



If you weren’t aware yet,I have a review for this movie a ways back if you want to check it out.There’s nothing that says Winter cheer like getting a ride from an extremely creepy stalker back home for Christmas,But in their case they never make it that far.The guy(Ashton Holmes) decides it’s a good plan to take a short cut on their way home,which leads to them almost getting hit by another car,ran off the road,and stranded alone in the bitter cold weather.Fighting for survival against the freezing temperature the guy and girl(Emily Blunt) are visited by some evil spirits that have long ago died on the road.When I heard the word “Winter” this movie came right to mind.It’s a great macabre journey into the history of a lonely,and extremely haunted road.With a hint of demented love story to add to the mix.Trust me it’s worth renting/buying this holiday season.

9.)Ginger Snaps 2:Unleashed(2004):
The second Ginger snaps is indeed my 2nd favorite one,haha.Backtracking to the first Ginger snaps,Brigitte(Emily Perkins) mixes her blood with Ginger(Katharine Isabelle) to make her trust her,infecting herself with the Lycanthropy virus.Brigitte immediately goes on the run,all the while shooting herself up with Monkshood to slow the transformation process.Brigitte then being picked up on the sidewalk after being attacked by another wolf whom wants to mate with her,is placed in a drug rehab clinic.Now being deprived of her only means of fighting this monstrous disease,she’s looking to break out,acquire her Monkshood, and kill the other wolf.Every once and awhile she becomes plagued with mysterious appearances by Ginger,who repeatedly points out that Brigitte is now a monster,and there’s no stopping the change.I was disappointed by the lack of Katharine Isabelle’s presence in this Ginger Snaps sequel,but it still makes with an amazing story and just annihilates all the idea’s that you’ve concluded in your head.And of course taking place in the beautiful Winter season.



8.)Jack Frost(1996):
This is such a quirky and ridiculous Winter comedy about a murderous snowman by the name of Jack(Scott MacDonald) Frost.It all begins when Jack the serial killer is being transferred to his final destination,being his execution.A horrible car accident occurs and Jack comes out having been violated by a dangerous chemical substance from the other truck,which causes him to change into the infamous killer snowman JACK FROST!He then pops on his carrot nose and tracks down all those individuals involved in capturing him.There’s nothing worse then a killer snowman with a grudge against you,who’s fueled to the brim with a determined revenge plot.Also you can’t forget Shannon Elizabeth’s amazing bathtub death scene!Oh man,I not only love this movie,but I love the sequel as well.Yeah,I’m a fiend for these kinds of nutbag movies,and I’m damn proud!It’s pretty obvious why this movie is on my list.



7.)Ravenous(1999):



I’ve always had quite the strange fascination with cannibalism,and that obsession still lives on today.So you can imagine how I much I dug this flick.First and foremost MAD PROPS to Robert Carlyle for one of his greatest performances ever(in my opinion).He should have gotten some sort of award,you know like a statue of a severed limb or something of that nature.Carlyle was like the Dr. Jeykll and Mr. Hyde of psychotic cannibals.He was such a devious character,with such amusing qualitys.I literally go fucking hysterical everytime I watch the cave scene,it’s just that badass!Just talking about it makes me want to pop this movie in right now.Anyways this movie is based around the 1840’s,you know around the time that if you were in the position of starving to death in some woods your best friend would eat the dick out of you to survive.Starring Guy Pearce(who’s always a pleasure) as Lieutenant Boyd who after becoming a “war hero” is sent off to a fort in Nevada.There,he is witness to the slaughter of his whole camp massacred by the one and only Carlyle.Boyd is injured badly in the process hides out for awhile,also being tempted by the corpses of his fellow soilders while incapable of moving to search for food.When he gathers the strength to hike his way back to civilization theres an unexpected surprise at the fort for him.
It’s an intelligent,yet still extremely hilarious look at cannibalism back in the 1840’s.A flick I would recommend to anyone!Just make sure to be cautious while investigating seemingly abandoned caves located on some sketchy mountains.

6.)Pick Me Up(2006):
Being me,I’ve seen every single Masters of horror movie there is.But Pick Me Up is definitely one of my favorites along with Sick Girl(Directed by Lucky McKee).I mean, I seriously have a hard on for this movie.Directed by the great Larry Cohen(It’s Alive,The Stuff).This movie is infested with spectacular actors and crew.The three leads are Fairuza Balk,Michael Moriarty,and Warren Kole.Here’s the deal;Trucker(Moriarty) picks up people in his truck to murder them,Walker(Kole)murders people who pick him up while he’s hitchhiking,and Stacia(Balk) is the innocent victim that gets caught inbetween a battle for her corpse.It’s one of the most amusing and slick horror/comedies out there.The three of them play so well off of eachother,it’s like you want to picture them as friends in the end.Well friends that have really sadistic personalities and a good sick sense of humor.But it’s all about fighting to get their hands on Stacia and win the competition between who is the more clever and competent serial killer.The end is a fight to the death after all three of them are tossed from Trucker’s truck.I refuse to spoil the ending because it’s so original and fun,but trust me there’s going to be a twist that no one expected.



5.)Misery(1990):



How's this title for a family member for Christmas?!.Oh who can forget good old Annie Wilkes?I'd have to label her as one of the most psychotic/sadistic women on the big screen.I mean that lady has some severe and incurable mental problems.Based on the genius novel "Misery" by Stephen King,I believe this movie caused permanent damage to people everywhere.I read the book before i saw the movie,and it really missed a lot of great details that would have intensified the movie to the extreme.It's usually the case with most book to film creations.Aside from them abandoning most of the gore and odd Annie breakdowns in the book,the movie was great.Kathy Bates portrayed Annie Wilkes so exquisitely,i really think there's no one else in the world that could have even attempted it.She was exactly as i'd pictured her when i read her character description in the book.Anyways Misery revolves around Paul Sheldon(James Caan) a famous novelist of the hit romance series Misery.On his way back to New York in a blizzard,he gets into a bad car wreck.Enter Annie Wilkes(Kathy Bates),who boldly comes to Paul's Rescue.He awakens in a small room in Annie's house,she explains she's a trained nurse and how she's coincidentally his number one fan,and all seems fine.Not after to long Paul starts to realise that Annie has some serious issues.He then realises that he's not there as a patient,but a prisoner.She not only wants Paul as her own forever,but she wants a new Misery book written exactly to her liking,or there will be harsh consequences.I'm going to leave off on anymore details,but it's a winner,trust me!

4.)Let The Right On In(2008):
The only word i could studder after watching this 2008 Swedish romantic horror film(Directed by Tomas Alfredson) was "MASTERPIECE"!This rarely happens with me,i'm a critic,and if i feel that strongly about a movie you know it HAS to be good.The cinematography by Hoyte Van Hoytema just knocked the air right out of me.The snow filled scenery shots are so absolutely fantastic!This macabre young love story was based on the novel(by the same name)and screenplay by John Ajvide Lindqvist.I haven't had a chance to read it,but it's definitley on my list of books to purchase.The story follows 12 year old Oskar(Kare Hedebrant),whom is a frequently harassed outcast amoungst all the other kids.Until he meets 12 year old girl Eli(Lina Leandersson),a lonely pale girl who is different from all the others.It soon developes into a steady relationship with casualties.Oskar is then slowly reeled into Eli's dark dangerous world of living and surviving as a vampire.This movie has one of the most uncomfortable disturbing reveals since Robert Hiltzik's Sleepaway camp was released in 1983.Also the movie is just sewn up perfectly with a magnificent ending.There was not one split second i could pause it or look away.It was really nice to see something original and new for a change.



3.)The Blob(1988 Remake):



Holy cow,i love the crap out of this flick!Yes,i'm also a huge fan of the original as well.I just felt the remake was more appropriate on this particular list.Hint Hint:The snow blaster they use to freeze the blob with,and turn that guy into a big frosty goo ball.So it starts off with a meterorite falling down to earth and crashing in the state of California.It basically attaches itself onto an old hobo's arm and three kids Brian(Kevin Dillion),Meg(Shawnee Smith),and Paul(Donovon Leitch) rush the man to the hospital,and from then on the chaos ensues within the town.And in the end it's none other than a government experiment gone wrong(Go figure).They have some of the most extraordinary special FX in this movie.They came up with some of the fanciest vomit inducing treats.The blob goo itself is truly sensational,the effects where the people were dissolving into the goo was something i'd never seen before when i first watched the movie.I found it pretty amusing the goo was pink too.You know the blob is this horrid ball of goo terrorizing and murdering people in the most impressively insane ways.The Blob 88' had me at the hospital scene,although i am in love with both of them.In my opinion both the 1958 and the 1988 versions were both instant classics.So if you haven't yet experienced the miraculous Blob movies,run to get them..and click your heels together in a dramatic way as well!


2.)The Curse Of The Cat People(1944):



Yes,yes.I chose "the curse of the cat people" over "cat people".I enjoy both these movies immensely,but Curse has beautiful snow ridden sets(not through the entire movie).I love Simone Simon's wardrobe in this movie better as well.That main dress she wears is gorgeous,i guess that's mainly to enhance the fact that she's deceased.She has a very fairy goddess like quality to her appearance.Obviously this is a sequel to Producer Val Lewton's suspense/horror-esque flick "Cat People"(1942) starring Simone Simon.I was a little confused after seeing this one,because it doesn't have much to do with the first movie,but i liked it.The story picks up where the first one left off after Irena(Simone Simon) has passed away Oliver(Kent Smith) gets hitched to his ho-bag co-worker Alice(Jane Randolph).That whole story always pissed me off because i like Simone so much,haha.Anyways Irena begins magically appearing to their young daughter Amy(Ann Carter),and forms a friendship with her.She also befriends a lonely old lady(Julia Farren) who used to be an actress,with a evil and jealous daughter(Elizabeth Russell).I'm totally surprised that Amy hasn't gotten kidnapped and murdered yet with how gullible that little girl is.I'm just saying if some old lady is whispering to me from a window,i'm running away.Things come to a close when Amy is caught in a snow storm(after running away from home),she then finds refuge at the old ladies for protection,and she is met with the angry and jealous daughter who wants revenge for not getting the attention that Amy has gotten from her mother.Dun dun dun...you'll have to watch the movie to find out what happens.But this is a keeper for sure on all accounts!



1.)Dead End(2003):
That's right folks,Dead End made number one.This movie actually freaks me out in a way,i(as odd as it sounds)have a fear of never ending driving,going in circles and never coming across anything different.Being caught in a constant merry-go-round of oblivion with no means of escape is pretty freaky.So it's the night before Christmas and the Harrington family Frank the father(Ray Wise),his wife Laura(Lin Shaye),their son Richard(Mick Cain),their daughter Marion(Alexandra Holden),and her boyfriend Brad(Billy Asher) are on the road traveling to Frank's mother-in-laws house for Christmas dinner.A series of horrific events are put into play with Frank takes a short cut and falls asleep at the wheel.Everytime they stop the car from that moment on someone dies a brutal death.Let me just say they picked the best cast for this film,i can't imagine anyone else in it,especially Lin Shaye with her catatonic and hilarious performance.Watching this film plagues me with a sense of claustrophobia from the driving in circles with all the same trees dark night,and i love it!Even with all the driving in circles this movie is not dull for one second.It gives you plenty of genuine scares with a hint of black comedy.Writer/Directors Jean-Baptiste Andrea and Fabrice Canepa definitely knew what they were doing,and it makes for a nightmarish trip down a lonely road bound with twists and turns at every stop.So go go watch it and report back to me with all your happy and wonderful comments about it!


Well i hope this post was informative to a lot of you,and you find a new movie to enjoy.I'm already working on a second edition of it.I went to the store the other day to buy some new DVDs and just happen to come across like 3 more winter ones that i like.Hopefullly i'll be able to get my laptop fixed this month,so i can continue updating this blog more often.It's just ridiculously expensive!A piece broke off the crevice of my laptop,and it took out my entire screen,so i have to replace both things.But anyways MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!I don't know about you guys but i'm asking Santa's bitch ass for a new laptop!=]

Word
Aleata Illusion

Why You Don't Let Your Kids Trick Or Treat Alone!

This is another one of our old short movies called "why you don't let your kids trick or treat alone".Trust me,it's hilarious!I just had my sister Tiara edit it back together and she's absolutely amazing!So check it out and add me on youtube.www.youtube.com/AleataCruzified
=]

Short Movie:The Adventures Of Senses Fail

Haha,okay this is a really old short that my Sister Tiara and I made.It's about Buddy(The singer) and Dan(the drummer) from the band Senses Fail.It's a little spoof about how Buddy is an alcoholic and Dan is bulemic..and Buddy's girlfriend gives them an intervention.We did it off the top of our heads,but it's fucking hilarious.The quality isn't that great,but whatever.I decided to slap it together and post it for your enjoyment.

I'm working on piecing together 2 more of our short movies,so i should have them posted in the next day.I got a new editing program,so i'm pretty stoked about putting together some of our new material.Anyways i'll be posting my movies on:
www.youtube.com/AleataCruzified
www.youtube.com/MaggotMoshProduction
www.veoh.com/IngravescentXCunt

Feel free to add me!

Photo Fab

Okay,so i'm thinking we the bloggers don't put enough photo's in our blogs.I think we need a little more (not to mention a little more SEXY pictures),heh heh heh.So i thought why not do a post entirely with pictures,because pictures do tell stories just as much as words do.So throughout the years i've been to a couple amazing Halloween conventions in Chicago,and i've met some of my horror hero's there.So i bet your thinking "Aleata are you trying to win another contest"?Not this time folks,i would like to share some of my proudest moments in time.Getting to meet some of these spectacular horror icons/muscians/fx artists/actors/performers was a life changing expirence for me,and it was even more encouragement to pursue what i do best.So i thought why not share some of these memories with you guys,along with a tad bit of my reminiscing.So join me in this groovy macabre dance down memory lane.
P.S. if you notice my smile looks a little crazy,it's because i had vampire teeth put in there.Oh and don't mind some of the collages with the pictures,i scanned some of these straight from my scrapbook.

Yes,this is actually him.Butch Patrick who played Eddie Munster on the infamous T.V. show "The Munsters".Being one of my favorite T.V. shows ever,i was estastic to be able to meet the man himself.Now only if i could have also been honored with the great luck to have met Fred Gwynne(who played Herman Munster) and the GOREgeous Yvonne De Carlo(Lily Munster).I would have melted with pure love into a comatose state for 2 1/2 weeks exactly.When i come out of it you would better believe someone is getting raped!




I know you guys are going to be jealous about myelf getting to meet this lovely lady.Mrs. Cassandra Peterson,whom is more commonly known to the world of terror as Elvira.The one and only mistress of darkness!Now i have a truly heart wrenching story behind this photo.My sister Brittany and I waited in line for hours to get to meet Elvira and get a signed copy of her new release at the time "Elvira's haunted hills".Which for the record is an absolutely hilariously fun comedy/horror/mystery flick.Now Cassandra is not only a born performer,with an exuberant presence that could make even the most bitter person glow with joy.But she is also the kindest,she has such a natural friendly quality that it's hard to find in a lot of famous people.So anyways after waiting for a couple of hours in line her manager or whomever was running the signing said "it's time to finish up and go".I was right there ready to meet her intoxicated with happiness.Then this lady goes "no more pictures either",just being a bitch.Well not only did Elvira sign movies for my sister and I,but she posed for a photo with me as well.It was great after the lady got all pissy Cassandra was like "no i'll get a picture with you,your my kinda girl".Serisouly i don't think she realized how much that meant to me.So here it is and here's to you Cassandra!




Here's Cassandra without her Elvira get up on.




We all know him from movies such as Spider baby,House of 1,000 corpses,The devils rejects,and many many more great flicks!But he was mainly recognized when made famous as the psycho clown owner of a stop-n go type gas station with his own personal horror ride,Captin Spaulding.Since the 1960s he has taken the horror world by storm and left corpses along the way.Ladies and gentlemen the one,the only,Mr Sid Haig!He was so nice in person,and i found out that he's an ordained minister,betcha didn't know that!I'm just full of fun facts!




Okay this man i recognized when i heard his voice,i had no idea he was at the convention.I kid you not tears welled up in my eyes as i turned around to face Bill fucking Moseley.This guy has been one of my favorite horror actors since i can remember.His voice just sends sassy little shivers up and down my spine.I can't wait to see the new movie he's in called "Dead Air".Not only is he a talented actor,but he's a great muscian,and he's performed with acts such as "Cornbugs" and "Buckethead".




You know how most people are deathly afraid of clowns?Well i have a bit of an obsession and undying love for clowns..almost to a sick extent.I have never understood why people are so scared of clowns.I actually wanted to be a clown for a couple years of my life,hey i'm colorful and adore my sick sense of humor.So anyways these two goofballs are two of my favorite clowns!They do performances for all kinds of events including conventions,weddings,parties..you get the drift.Well these two clowns have the greatest sadistic jokes that'll ever violate your ears.I got to witness them walk up to this random guy and who was talking to these other people.Twitch was like "hey remember that one time we got wasted and stole that car,then ended up in jail",and just went on this in depth rant about their "old days".Fucking hilarious!Also Twitch and I happened to both be sporting purple and black striped attire.Heckles pointed it out at the convention and i've been in love with Twitch ever since.




Here's a photo of Heckles in Twitch in color,i felt it was appropriate.




Dee Snider,now if you don't know who Dee is,then you need to catch up with the times.He's the lead singer of a group formed in the 80s by the name of "Twisted Sister".They released popular songs such as "We're not gonna take it" and "Burn in hell".Sound familiar,they should!Well Dee now hosts a radio show with Fangoria and his beautiful co-host Debbie Rochon.If your interested in listening in on the movie madness go to http://www.fangoria.com/fangoria-entertainment/radio.html I also just want to add that Dee is another awesome individual to meet in person!




I actually never got this mans name,but i'm pretty sure my mom said he was in actor.Alls i know is we were both in some skeleton gear and i kept seeing him everywhere at the convention.Everytime he saw me he'd be like ,"THERE SHE IS" and we'd do this dramatic run and hug ordeal.He was really fucking cool!




Just a little extra here's a couple more pictures of me hanging out there.There's a couple of people's pictures that got lost on my moms old computer.I have a picture of myself and Dustin Diamond.Now i'm not one of those people who gets "star struck",i'm pretty chill when i meet famous people.But when i met Dustin i went into shock,i just stood there and starred at him.My mom had to kind of butt into the conversation and say, "she wants to get a picture with you".If it hasn't clicked yet,Dustin played "Screech" off of "Saved by the bell".I also met a gaggle of lovely ladies that did the fashion shows there,and Bobby Weiner the FX-make up artist.I met her two years in a row.Originally i wanted to be an FX make-up artist,i even had a school lined up in California to attend back when i was 18.But i decided i wanted to be a Director and backed out.But Bobby was one of my references.So go check out her make-up by the name of "Bloody Mary".They sell it at Hot Topic's everywhere.

Me Walking around






Me dancing with a pink gorilla in front of a bunch of people




So that's it for now my little love birds!Hope you've enjoyed our memory bubble together today!But serisouly as i was writing this i just thought of me talking to people and a little bubble popping up above my head with photo memories in it,haha.

Ta Ta for now.

The www.pretty-scary.net Article

Okay,so recently Brian's Ms. horror blogoshpere contest on www.thevaultofhorror.blogspot.com was the subject of a post on www.pretty-scary.net.The article was written by Heidi something or other.Anyways she states this in the article "In a truly nauseating attempt at attention grabbing and women-judging, a blog called The Vault of Horror has started something called the 2009 Ms. Horror Blogosphere Contest, which pits female horror bloggers against one another in a popularity voting exploitationsplosion." Okay "attention grabbing and women judging",this contest was created to promote our blogs and be a fun way to meet other horror bloggers.Brian is also hosting a Mr horror blogosphere contest too.In no way is he degrading or stepping on any of us.I think the contest was a great idea!I didn't start my blog to long ago and i now have more people interested in reading my blog.I love meeting and talking to new people about the horror genere.I think all the participants are absolutely great writers and all run awesome horror blogs.I always check out all of the blogs when i have the time.The way she stated her opinion is like it's a nasty catfight to the death,and we're all trying to win it by using our looks.First off we're WOMEN we will be beautiful if we want to.It's not a crime to be attractive.And of course we were asked to submit photo's of ourselves to go with our interviews.It gives the readers a chance to see the bloggers that they're reading about.It's not like Brian asked us to submit "lude" or "sexy" photo's of ourselves.We were asked to pick whatever photo's we wanted to use.Which none of us submitted any type of indecent photo's anyways.I do model occasionally and i'm proud of my body.I'm not ashamed to post any photo's of myself on my blog.This is a problem,why?It's my choice,not yours.
Then she continues on stating, ""The winner of the contest not only gets bragging rights and the right to display the nifty Ms. Horror Blogosphere 2009 on her site-she will also get to choose an honest-to-goodnes prize," claims Brian Solomon, who thought up the contest. Despite being a contest amongst bloggers, who are writers and journalists, each entry requires a photo of the lady and a bio. Which begs the question - why aren't they just being judged on the quality of their blog and writing? Answer: because it is never too late to judge women based on their looks...".Obviously we are being judged by the quailty of our blogs,the contest is for our blogs.The addition of the interview and photo's was another great way to get to know all the bloggers.He began the contest posting all of our blog links and names,the interviews came later.None of the questions were offensive in any way to me.It was really fun to answer them because they weren't typical boring interview questions.We got to be really creative in our answers.Not to mention if any of the girls were offended,i'm sure they would have backed out of the contest.
Then she moves on to personally target me and one of my interview questions."And while we're super flattered to be listed as an inspiration for Sarah Jahier of Fatally-Yours, we're sad to see her as an entry in the contest. It's mostly statements like this that really get our goat, as voiced by entrant Aleata Illusion, "If a guy sees a really smokin' chick, he's going to be interested in reading her blog automatically. That gives it a bit of a sexist aspect, but it's not always a bad thing to be able to grab someone's attention that way." Oh i'm sorry for being completely honest,well news flash to Heidi,THAT'S THE WAY THE WORLD WORKS!Not just with females,the same thing goes for guys.Just check out Heidi's "Scary studs" articles. http://www.pretty-scary.net/?q=ScaryStuds ..is it just me or is she being completely hypocritical?!.
And now she speaks out directly to me,"Actually, Aleata, if you want anyone to take you seriously as a writer, it is a bad thing. If you want to be an Internet blog celebrity, which many people do, go right ahead. This will make it easier to separate the women from the girls when we get all that sorted out".So now i'm not a woman because i have the freedom to post photo's of myself on my blog AND i write.Oh no!That's right it's against human nature to be an attractive blogger..i totally forgot.That's by far one of the most idiotic things i've ever read.Needless to say i don't run a horror blog,because i want to be an "internet blog celebrity".I write because it's a fun release to get all my movie mania thoughts out.My main interest is making films,i don't even have that much time to dedicate to keeping my blog updated,which sucks.And the last time i checked i didn't even have a any votes,as you can see BJ-C is in the lead.And she deserves it,you can tell she busts ass on "Day of the woman".So Heidi get your priorities straight.This is a horror blog competition and that's what it's being judged as.
In closing,you know what's annoying and unnecessary Heidi,your opinion.So next time think before you write something so ludicrous about something so innocent.Not to mention you just made yourself look bad in front of hundreds of readers and are currently being laughed at.
But I'm not going spend anymore time arguing over the internet about this,because i do have what is commonly referred to as a "life" outside of the internet.I use my time to write fun stuff i'm interested in,not tear down other bloggers.Just as a couple other people were irked about the article,I felt compelled to post something on it as well.Especially for the simple fact that she felt the need to personally target me in the article.Again i would just like to thank anyone who takes the time to read my blog,i appreciate it more than you would ever know.

Oh and HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

And Don't forget to check out all the girls blogs and vote at www.thevaultofhorror.blogspot.com

Also check out BJ-C's voice on the matter: http://dayofwoman.blogspot.com/2009/11/message-to-those-who-feel-ms-horror.html


Thank you and goodnight!

Aleata Illusion

Oh snap!Look another photo of me to win a contest!Oh wait,that's just My sister and I making a spoof rap video..nevermind..

5 Romantic Horror Movies To Fall In Love With

Top 5 Most Romantic Horror Films:



Some of the very best horror films are romantic horror whether you realize it or not.There's always that underlying romance between a man and women crushed in movies.What says "I love you" like murdering your love objects entire family,or fighting your lover to the death.You can't deny it,love really bring out the psycho's.Oh the joys of love!Here are 5 of the best romantic horror films that you are bound to fall in love with.

5.)Suburban Nightmare(2004):This is the love story of love stories and a flick i never get sick of.Starring Brandy Little and Trent Haaga this is a film about a really dysfunctional marriage.So what happens when a a husband and wife are both psychotic serial killers and they get into a marital fight?Well an all out fight to the death of course!Written and directed by John Keeyes;this is a romantically bloody brawl between two complete mental cases.Remarkably fun with a couple of good twists.The dialogue is so sweet in a maniac relationship type of way,no wait,it's just sweet.



4.)The Signal(2007):Ohh David Bruckner/Jacob Gentry/Dan Bush brought us this insane love story.While cheating on her husband Mya(Anessa Ramsey) and her lover Ben(Justin Welborn) expirence an odd occurance.The t.v. flashes on transmitting some kind of weird signal,as the t.v. fuzzes multi-colored splotches.All electronic devices cease to work(aside from the crazy signal) and people start becoming homicidal maniacs.It's a bloodbath from start to finish as Ben desperately searches for Mya.But of course there's the psychotic murderer husband Lewis(A.J. Bowen) whos brain is scrambled by the signal and also wants to find Mya.I just would like to note that A.J. Bowen's performance in this flick is one of the best i've ever seen.He's so great portraying the confused and insane husband.He brings a lot of good humor to the movie,then in a second can be pretty scary.Coming to a close with lot's of excitement,chaos,and catatonia.Mya,Ben,and Lewis all meet in terminal 13.


3.)A Bucket Of Blood(1959):This is a story about Walter(Dick Miller) who is a busboy at a beatnik joint.Envious of all the artists and poets and also in love with the beautiful Carla(Barboura Morris) he dreams of becoming a famous sculpter.Things begin to get complicated when Walter starts murdering people and molding clay over their corpses as art.It began as an accident,but after all the attention he gains from his "art" he can't stop.All that trouble just to get the attention of a woman you love.Directed by Roger Corman this in fact my favorite movie ever made,i mean ever!




2.)Sick Girl(2006):Starring Misty Mundae(aka Erin Brown) and Angela Bettis this is by far my favorite Lucky McKee movie!Being misunderstood by everyone(especially girlfriends)because of her undying love for her bugs Ida(Angela Bettis) is a lonely Entomologist.One day she meets Misty who she immediately falls for and they move in together.A mysterious box shows up one day on Ida's doorstep and inside is a strange bug.Eventually the bug gets loose and burrrows in one of Ida's pillows,later biting Misty.As Ida begins noticing Misty's odd and angry behaviour the bug bite starts to change her physically and mentally.She becomes a killer queen bug who is also impregnated with a whole buncha babies.Trust me this flick is a great time!This is infact a Masters of horror just for the record.With an ending that is sure to surprise anyone.

1.)High Tension(2003):
Directed by Alexander Aja.There's no perticular reason why i picked "High tension" for number one,because i love all these movies so much.But here we have the story of Marie(Cecile De France) and Alex(Maiwenn Le Besco) who are on their way to Alex's familys house in the Country for college break.When an unsuspected murderer shows up family members are brutally murdered one by one.Seriously like the title this movie has so much intensity to it.It follows Marie through the night as she alludes and trails the fat sweaty killer to save Alex.Now i really don't want to drop any spoilers about this movie,because it's so good.So just go and watch it,and you'll understand why it's on my list.

Double Feature (The Uninvited/A Tale Of Two Sisters)

The Uninvited(2009)/A Tale Of Two Sisters(2003)
*SPOILER ALERT*



Alright just for the record this wasn't supposed to be the first double feature I was going to do. But things worked out this way. So my "Double Features" are original movies and their much worse counterpart;their remake. I have a bunch in the works I'm just always busy busy busy, but here's the first one in this wonderful category. "The Uninvited" and "A tale of two sisters".
Alright so the basic concept of this movie is a girl gets released from a mental hospital after enduring the effects of her mothers death and her father, sister and soon to be step mother greet her when she arrives home. After awhile she starts to realize that something is not right at all. She gets all kinds of crazy notions about her (soon to be) step mother, which leads to a string of confusing, and disastrous events. "The uninvited" is really simple and easy to follow, but on the other hand "A tale of two sisters" will lose you until the end. That's the great thing about "A tale of two sisters" you really have to pay close attention to every small detail.



Remaking one of my favorite movies "A tale of two sisters" with all this shit is extremely disappointing. *Picks up a rusty ice pick and stabs myself in the eyeballs* Whhhhy?!. No,I don't want to know what could have possibly been going through someones mind when they remade this. Not to mention throwing Elizabeth Banks in there as the evil step mother, that's like throwing a dick in my ear out of a dark alley. A dark alley that I was convinced was a candy shop. Are you starting to see where I'm going with this? And I can't understand why they would try to push Mrs. Banks boobs up in extremely awkward positions to attempt to make them look bigger. Elizabeth Banks gives off happy go lucky vibes in every movie I see her in. She's a very smiley cheerful looking person, which I'm not by any means saying that's a bad thing, it's great! I think she's a wonderful actress, and she's played many hilarious and awesome parts. But she is in no way intimidating, it kills the entire movie. BAM Fail! I realize the wicked step mother is all in her head, but it's the way the character is perceived by the girl. And she sees the step mother as an ominous person whom murdered her mother. Pop me some popcorn and put mother fuckin' Bai Ling or even Rose Mcgowan in the part as the evil step mother. Give me some real threatening and creepy aspects. If your going to put on your director shoes and remake a fucking instant classic like "A tale of two sisters" fucking do it right! So I frown upon the Guard brothers remake, a wholllle lot!



Alright let's start from the beginning when I first heard about this movie it was from my sister Brittany. She told me it was really similar to "A tale of two sisters", so I wasn't sure if it was a remake yet. So I went walking in the dark of night through some sassy fall leaves and rented it. Just a little fact I want to throw in here, "A tale of two sisters" has one of the best movie covers I've ever seen. Take a peek here:




Alright now let's take a minute to compare it to this piece of poo:



What's the verdict people? Yeah, I thought you'd see it my way.



Another thing why would they rename it "The Uninvited", wow that really has no relation to the movie whatsoever. I don't know what angle they were trying to come from with that. It's also completely ridiculous how OBVIOUS they make everything. The sisters presence or lack of. They have her leaving the room after 2 frickin seconds in every god damn scene. They in no way made it inconspicuous. You can clearly tell that all the actual living characters are looking past her. They did the dead girl scenes so horribly I literally laughed at it for a split second then proceeded to yawn. In the original you feel a deep connection between the two sisters, in this remake it all feels very fake. They don't capture that same type of love that the sisters convey with each other. It's impossible for anyone to replicate what Kim Jee-Woon has created, and also the absolutely astounding cinematography shot by Lee Mo-Gae.
This is psychological horror at it's very best! This is a movie not even Chuck Pallanicks "Fight Club" can keep up with.(Aleata fact:I love "Fight Club")! They ruined the scariest scene in the movie with that Ginger kid and CGI, good fucking job! Let's just slap ginger kids with bad corpse make-up and slap those same gingers with some CGI effects and we've got some scary shit! No, no you don't god dammit!



I mean you don't understand what a fucking masterpiece they ruined unless you've previously viewed "A tale of two sisters". They turned it into another American piece of trash! I tried to like this movie, I have such love and respect for the original that I tried to give it a chance (For the sole fact that someone enjoyed it enough to remake it), but I really couldn't. People only care about money, not the movies! Their comedy aspects failed! "A tale of two sisters" also had one of the greatest scores I've ever heard, it really pulls you into the mood of the movie. There's a lot of stuff they left out which is obvious to anyone who knows their movies. It's not like I condone identical remakes, it's sometimes good if people try a completely different route, it's just they pulled all the really good and interesting stuff. Which again makes the remake a complete and utter bore. I really don't think that American directors put any thought into the Asian films they remake. It's basically a trendy happening thing going on now. They see that "The Ring" and "The Grudge" sold, so they start going after plenty more including "One missed call" (which was actually supposed to be my first double feature), "Pulse"(I didn't even like the original to that movie), and "Dark Water". There's so many more I'm just throwing out some examples.



I could give "The uninvited" props for one thing only in the whole movie, and that is the shot with the boy with the broken/twisted back. I thought the effects on that were pretty neat and creepy. Nevertheless it doesn't compare to the scene in "a tale of two sisters" with the girl under the cupboard in the kitchen. You know what? I actually might put that on my list of creepiest horror/psychological thriller movie moments! It would be high on my list. Alright well I'm going to wrap this up, so I don't go into incoherent ramblings.In conclusion "The uninvited" is not worth seeing in my opinion. And if you haven't seen "A tale of two sisters" yet, what's wrong with you..GO NOW AND RENT/BUY IT!

The Uninvited:0/5
A Tale Of Two Sisters:5/5

Sleepaway Camp 3:Teenage Wasteland(1989)

So i've found some of my older reviews that i haven't bothered to put up on here.So i'm going to try to get all those up this week,and i'm also working on a couple new reviews.Stay tuned!



Sleepaway Camp 3:Teenage Wasteland (1989)
So it begins where the second left off,Angela Baker the "angel of death" looking for a slick way to sneak back into camp again.Angela like in Sleepaway Camp 2 is protrayed by the beautiful Pamela Springsteen.So what we have here is a small group of people who decide to re-open "Camp Rolling Hills",but they change the name to "Camp New Horizons",so everyone will forget the tragedy that occured there.But Angela has come back for revenge once again for all those drug addict,sex obsessed,foul mouth,juvenile deliquents!The camp is separated into two groups,there's the rich kids whose parents paid a large sum of money to get them in,and then there's the street rat kids who were placed there by the courts.Of course we all know Angela doesn't discriminate,she'll kill anyone!So even before camp Angela runs a girl over with a truck to take her place at camp,as she takes the name "Maria".As soon as she arrives at camp the terrorizing begins.There are 3 different camping teams in the woods,and she goes from one to the other picking off all the campers.There are such horrorific scenes such as a lady getting her head ran over by a mower,a couple getting brutally beaten with a stick,a boy getting a firecracker lit in his nose,and many more gruesome deaths!
Now personally this is one of my favorite movies,along with the entire Sleepaway Camp trilogy.They are all instant classic's and especially original with the black comedy aspect sewn in there.As was the second Sleepaway Camp the third is also directed by Michael A Simpson.I have no complaints with his direction,i thought he did an awesome job with the two.I've always loved the twisted concept of these movies.Everytime i watch it,i can't help but sing along to the "I'm A Happy Camper" theme song.And you have to absolutely love her sassy remarks she's always making.The smart ass attitude just makes for more laughs.I like how in this one you also get a quick delusional glimpse at what's going on inside her head.You can really groove with the 80s metal soundtrack,haha.Basically goes along with the theme of the movie well.The whole punk kids "Teenage wasteland" and "i do what i want" thing they got going on.
For the budget they had on this movie everything was pretty nice.The effects were so so,but i wish there was more of the gore splatter.(Side note:they cut a lot of the good gore scenes from the movie)The location with the cabins and woods and such was okay.Anyways if you haven't seen any of the "Sleepaway Camp" movies,i strongly suggest you give them a chance and check them out!Also for anyone who hasn't heard,they have come out with a "Return to sleepaway camp".I believe it came out towards the end of 2008,so that's something you "Sleepaway camp" fans will want to check out as well!
Acting:5/5
Character Design:5/5
Story:5/5
Music:5/5
Overall Rating:5/5

Sorry!

Sorry i've been lacking in updates recently.First it's my internet connection,then it's my laptop having problems,next the HTML codes are not working right.So apologies for all the crazy huge pictures.I'll try to get all the bugs worked out as soon as i can.I've been sick and pretty busy lately.My birthday is coming up October 26th,so i'm trying to plan out what i'll be doing for that.

Also wanted to take a moment to say Happy Halloween to everyone and thanks for taking the time to stop by and read my manic ramblings.Hope everyone is doing good.Oh,and what's everyone being for Halloween?As i posted in my previous blog i'm going to be the female version of "Macon" from the ever fantastic "Murder Party".Trust me if you haven't seen it,you'll really want to pick up a copy to watch for this Halloween.
Their myspace page is www.myspace.com/murderparty07 if you would like to check it out.

Again hope everyone has a fabulously fun Halloween drink one for me!=]

Aleata

Issue One Of Fabulous Halloween Movies To Watch

Well it's the wondeful Halloween season again and you know what that means...Horror movie marathons galore!Now i didn't compose a list of just "horror" movies,but ones based on or around Halloween.If you think about halloween you think about horror movies,but most horror movies have nothing to do with halloween.So i thought i dedicate some issues of halloween movie lists to the season and my love for all things horror.I didn't just jot down random movies,i actually took about a week to think of some of the very best!I think i'll do about 3-4 issues for this years halloween movie lists.So get with the halloween spirit and check out these fucking awesome movies if you haven't already!


10.)House Of 1,000 Corpses[2003]
Well there's plenty of obvious reasons why i chose Rob Zombie's madness filled "House of 1,000 corpses" as my number 10.This movie oozes everything halloween from Captin Spauldings "murder ride" to Otis(Bill Moseley) dressing up in a girl's fathers skin as a halloween costume.This is actually the only movie Rob Zombie has done that i've actually liked.It's original and way fun..you can't help but love the psychotic family.If there's a cinematic family that has the halloween spirit it's this one led by Mrs. Firefly(Karen black).So if you want to get a little traumatized,all the while laughing and enjoying yourself immensely grab this movie!You won't be disappointed!

9.)The Nightmare Before Christmas[1993]
A Tim Burton Halloween/Christmas clashed classic!I think about everyone has seen this masterpiece.Halloweentown filled with ghastly Halloweenesque characters.We have Jack Skellington the "pumpkin king" who grows weary of Halloweentown and wants to find something new so he attempts to take over Santa Clauses place during the Christmas season.You will not find a better animated musical Halloween movie then this.The songs are catchy and creepy with a frighteningly macabre musical score by Danny Elfman.You craving Halloween,gambling boogeymen,evil little trick or treaters who hold Santa Claus captive?Pick up a copy of "the nightmare before christmas"!I remember seeing this movie in theaters when it came out and i've loved it ever since!

8.)Halloween 3:Season of the witch[1982]
Alright i'm not a big fan of the "Halloween" franchise at all.But the one i do like is the one that has absolutely nothing to do with Michael Myers...enter Halloween 3:Season of the witch.Instead of a knife wielding madman we have a clever story of an infamous Halloween mask maker by the name of Conal Cocrahn(Dan O'Herlihy) who is out to kill every child in America.The silver shamrock masks are the most popular masks on the market this year and they also happen to cling and rot your head producing a number of cockroaches,snakes,spiders and other icky creatures from them.Ohhh goody goody if you haven't seen it yet,aren't you interested?!?.Starring the wondeful Tom Atkins as Dr. Dan Challis investigating a crazy man who died in his hospital clutching one the of child hungry masks.I just light up every single time i watch this movie.Coming across little bratish candy monger children around Halloween really makes you appreciate this flick.Not to mention it has the greatest commercial song ever "Happy happy halloween halloween halloween happy happy halloween silver shamrock".So sit back boys and girls,put on your silver shamrock masks,and WATCH THE FLASHING PUMPKIN!

7.)Idle Hands[1999]
This is a hilarious flick about a lazy kid Anton(Devon Sawa)who finds out what happens when you don't use your hands for anything good.Being the slacker he is his hand gets possessed by evil forces for being so worthless putting into action rather funny events.He cuts it off and has to chase it down and save his girlfriend before the hand sacrfices her to the devil on Halloween at a school dance.Yes,we have the whole Halloween atmosphere going on.Along with some brutal costumes that are actually real,bones the cat,and Anton's dead parents strung up as Halloween decor.This is a flick that should be added to everyone's movie collection.Not to mention it has the lovely Jessica Alba half naked in it.Now i know your drooling on yourself a little bit.

6.)The Switch Killer[2004]
This is a movie that will indeed fuck your head up for life.Now it has a LOT of enjoyable stuff in it.We have a transsexual murderer,a ton of strippers dancing(bonus),lesbians,and halloween parties with hilarious party goers rockin out to the band.I mean seriously when you watch this movie when the band is playing keep a sharp eye on the people in the audience.Kept me amused for fucking months!This is an independent flick,which makes it a little bit harder to find.But trust me it's definately worth purchasing off amazon/ebay.And off course it's based around Halloween time,yay!

5.)Ginger Snaps[2000]
This is one that always seems to make my lists,why you say?Because it's fucking amazing!And i'm a bit in love with Katharine Isabelle,and this movie is fucking amazing.Yeah,yeah best werewolf movie ever!Of course it's based around Halloween,and just so happens everyone thinks Ginger's werewolf transformation is a great costume.Adding a nice little touch to the movie,just little details like that make it sooo good.Anyways this is a movie about two sisters that really despise society and on a little adventure to kidnap a stuck up girls dog one of them is attacked and bitten by a werewolf.Ginger not only hitting puberty,but now has to deal with the experience of changing into a werewolf.This is one of my personal favorites and is bound to make everyone feel a bit uncomfortable.

4.)Side FX[2005]
This is another immaculate independent flick i've come across.It's about friends Matt and Tuesday whom share a college dorm room.Matt is a campus drug dealer willing to sell anything,which leads to the downfall.Getting ahold of a drug called "Ace",and selling it to college kids who then think they are vampires and need blood to live.So Matt throws a Halloween party and starts giving out Ace as a party favor and what do we have?!.A whole buncha blood thirsty college kids.Oh snap!

3.)Murder Party[2007]
Everyone knew this movie would pop up on this list somewhere.I'm a total sucker for the Lab of madness guys.Anyways Murder party revovles around a group of artists in "the collective" who will do anything for a grant from a supposed rich guy Alexander(Sandy Barnett).Alexander has them throw a Murder party on Halloween where they trap an innocent guy(Chris Sharp) in a warehouse and plot to kill him.But everything ends up going very wrong when one of the collective members snap.Well basically a bunch of them snap,but in their own ways.Anyways another one of my favorites and guess who i'm being for Halloween.Yes,he's the guy with the werewolf mask Mr. Macon.Watch this movie!

2.)Satan's Little Helper[2004]
Another one of my personal favorites(go figure a lot of my faves are based around Halloween).Anyways this is a story about Dougie,and Dougie is addicted to a video game where he's Satan's little helper.Becoming a little obsessed with Satan he dresses as a little devil for Halloween and wanders off to find Satan.That's where he meets a tall masked man who without speaking a word insists he's Satan himself.So Dougie goes on a day adventure with this man who's actually a murdering anarchist out to destroy everything he can.I don't know why i haven't reviewed this movie yet.Jeff Lieberman you are a genius!This movie is a whole bunch of hysterical insanity.It's so fucking funny you will literally laugh your face off your face,and i know that sounds appetizing!After i watched this movie,i told everyone about it that would listen!

1.)Trick 'R Treat[2009]
This movie was just finally released by Michael Dougherty and damn,i mean DAMN did he just own shit!!I couldn't believe my eyeballs!This is a comic book-esque movie in the footsteps of George Romero's "Creepshow".In the likes of Halloween this movie has everything you'd ever dream of.It has various different stories all combined into one movie.You follow the little guy Sam with the burlap sack over his face.I like to call him the Halloween monster.He's like how Santa is to Christmas to me.If you don't follow the rules of Halloween he will indeed stick you with a Halloween pumpkin pop shank!I'd have to say he's my new hero,and there's a spot on my body where he will be inked.This isn't a review so i can't get into much else..i can only assure you THIS IS THE MOVIE OF THE YEAR!It was originally supposed to be released two flippin years ago,but it's out on DVD now.So watch it and bask in all it's glory!

Geometria(1987)

Geometria is a short film by Guillermo Del Toro.It's really visually stunning and i especially loved the music score.The basic concept of it is the best part,i mean i was laughing just like,"wow this is fucking awesome"!Anyways here it is thanks to Dread Central(It was the first site i saw that posted it).Check them out www.dreadcentral.com
Trust me take 8 minutes out of your day to check this out!



Anways enjoy!
Miss Aleata Illusion

Jennifer's Body(Movie Review)2009

*SPOILERS AHEAD*



Jennifer's Body(2009)
Directed By Karyn Kusama.
If you're as big of a movie nut as me,then your following movies like a year before there final release.One in particular that i've kept my eye on quite awhile has been the Diablo Cody scripted "Jennifer's body".Now i have great movie instincts and i had quite a good feeling about this flick.So i finally got to see it Saturday(one day shy of it's release date).The story is narrarated by Needy(Amanda Seyfried) locked away in a mental institution,but at the beginning we don't know why.Alright let's get into the basic concept of this teenage horror flick.We follow the beauty queen of high school Jennifer(Megan Fox) and her nerdy best friend since they were children Needy(Amanda seyfried) going through their daily high school routine.Jennifer convinces Needy(as always) to go out to a crappy bar to see this indie myspace band "Low Shoulder".The band begins playing and the stage just ignites into flames Jennifer and Needy escape thanks to Needy's quick thinking.But while their outside recovering from the shock Jennifer seems to be in a trance-like state.The singer of Low Shoulder appears out of nowhere to encourage Jennifer to get in their bus(a safe place he says) and go for a ride.The only thing i could think to myself at this point was RAPE VAN,haha.Not to mention he gave her a roofie calatta just seconds before hand and was pushing her to drink up.So i mean if your not getting a creepy feeling already,it'll catch up to you soon enough.As Needy tries to tell Jennifer to stay she gets one last look at her best friend before the van door closes and she's left alone outside the flaming bar.She gets home and calls her boyfriend Chip(Johnny Simmons) and tells him the strange events that occured that night,also worried sick about Jennifer's Whereabouts with the weirdo band.A little bit later Jennifer unexpectedly shows up covered in blood and is acting more than odd.She doesn't say a word,but instead attacks a roasted chicken and vomits a putrid blackish substance all over Needy's kitchen floor.Needy at this point realizes that Jennifer is not the same as she was before she got into that rape van.The next day at school Jennifer seems to be okay,with the addition of cruel remarks about the bar burning and people dying.What ensues from then on is a hot demonic chick cannibalizing all the high school boys she can get her hands on.




From all the Megan Fox coverage and interviews we don't realize that Amanda Seyfried is the actual main character.Now since it's a movie about the evils of high school we have a younger cast.But i think they all did a fantastic job,there's actually no one i can pin point to harass at all(i'm such a critic usually).The locations fit beautifully with that "stuck in a tiny desolate town" feeling.Just in general they had some great locations for the different scenes that take place(the abandoned pool,the sacrifice in the woods,the house under construction).Now my taste of music is way different from the music they have here,aside from Hole.But i have to give them some major kudos,because the music slapped over this movie also went really well with the theme of it.At the end when they played the song "Violet" by Hole, i was just like "wow,that's pretty freakin' groovy"!Also another funny fact Hole has a song titled "Jennifer's Body".I have a feeling "Jennifer's body" being named such was no coincidence,but done intentionally.Now this isn't the only movie out there with posession caused by a band,but it was done in a completely original way.I mean they band didn't just hypnotize her and off onto a murderous rampage she went.But it was a sacrifice gone wrong,as we learn half way through the movie.The band mistaking Jennifer for a virgin, sacrifice her to Satan in some dark deserted woods.What they didn't know is that if sacrificed and not a virgin they'll come back as a demonic force to eat people to keep a good complexion.




The ending was fantastic!I loved the dramatic way they chose to take it.The flash backs during the scene prove effective and you get that sense of sadness for Needy having to murder her best friend.Yet the anger is present as well,with the fact that Jennifer ate Needy's boyfriend.Also a touch of comedy as Needy's murder weapon of choice is revealed(a box cutter).All of this madness crushed together with great actresses and an equally good director and we have a fabulous scene.Now i don't want to bad mouth Diablo Cody.I think she's a great writer,she gets the whole "teenage girl" thing(she also wrote the teen pregnancy hit "Juno").But Diablo's teenage lingo gets a bit to ludicrous for it's own good.I know when your a teenager you practically have your own language,but some of the words are really incomprehensible and it makes the characters seem a little annoying.There are also some really cheesy lines i felt were inappropriate for the dialogue.The "Tampon" remark was just flat out fucking stupid.And the dress they make Needy wear to the prom was just ri-god-damn-diculous!Yeah,we understand she's a geek,but this isn't the butt fucking 80s.But every movie has it's quirks,what can you do?Also the CGI,everyone knows how i feel about CGI.The CGI didn't much bother me at all.The flick is so layed back and enjoyable that i could forgive a little bit of nonsensical effects.Aside from that i thought the movie was pretty fucking cool.It's definately on my list of "movies to buy".You don't often find very many good new horror hollywood movies,but "Jennifer's Body" is positively one to see.With all these remakes it's nice to see a fresh idea thrown out there for once.I probably forget to mention a couple things,but i've only viewed it once.I'll probably come back to tweek this review,just wanted to put my love for this movie in the open while it was semi-fresh in my head.What do i rate it you say?!.
5/5

The Human Centipede

Here's a great clip from the upcoming flick "The human centipede" i just thought i'd share with all of you.I am almost in tears awaiting what looks to be a masterpiece!In this horrid world of constant remakes and takes off comic books a fresh creative idea thrills me.
Directed by Tom Six.
Enjoy.

Sorority Row(2009)

*SPOILERS AHEAD*




Directed by Stewart Hendler
Okay for those of you that are not in the know.This is a remake of the 1983 cult film "The house on sorority row".There's plenty different between these two,but i won't get into that i'll save it for a double feature.Penned by Josh Stolberg and Pete Goldfinger this reboot follows 6 sorority girls in Theta Pi as they play a prank that goes awry.They give roofies to one of the girls ex boyfriends(Matt O'Leary) to give to her at a party,but once she starts spastically convulsing the fun begins.They get the boy to fetch the car,so they can "take her to the hospital".He is absolutely losing it and the girls are fighting their laughter.They have him stop the car claiming she's dead and they need to cut up her body and hide it.Then what do you know the boyfriend takes a tire iron and plunges into straight into the girls heart.Everyone panic's especially Garrett when he figures out he's on the receiving end of an extremely cruel prank.So the girls not wanting to ruin their planned out lives dispose of the body in a well(The Ring reference anyone?) and make a pact that they will not tell a living soul what took place that night.Then 8 months later at a graduation party the girls get picked off one by one(and a couple guys thrown in there).





Alright so you get the basic concept of what we're dealing with now.The acting was all okay aside from the actor Jullian Morris who played Andy.I mean you could tell he was TRYING to act,it wasn't that natural feeling.I bet the leading ladies attracted most of the attention for the publicity and they are definately not eye sores.I have to mention though the girl who played Ellie(Rumar Willis)has a head like a saint bernard.It really kind of freaked me out a bit.This movie was one big horror cliche.I could tell the writers tried to make it original by throwing curve balls,but what good does that do when you can see them coming from a mile away?!?.Being a writer myself i couldn't stand the dialogue,it was way to typical and lame.But i guess that comes along with being a big Hollywood P.O.S. remake no talent whatsoever.The deaths and scares are purely cheap tactics that have been done over and over again.Watching this movie i would have expected more boobies,but did they even deliver that aspect,barely.I mean if i have to sit through something this awful they should at least make it somewhat entertaining.Gore and boobies are in high demand these day you know!





I was also really thrown by how they portrayed Megans younger sister Maggie(Caroline D'Amore).She appears out of nowhere acting like a complete creeper and has the audience like "oh no she's so the killer"!!But it's so ridiculous they blew her character completely out of proportion.I mean seriously why would she just walk out in front of their car while their driving just to stand there like an idiot and exchange some insults.Then again with her sleeping with the Jessicka's(Leah Pipes) boyfriend in her bed.I just wanted to bitch slap someone the entire movie for all the pointless things added.

Well anyways we end it with our lovely heroine Cassidy(Briana Evigan) coming face to face with her lame ass boyfriend Andy who is killing everyone who knows the secret about Megan(Audrina Patridge)being murdered,because he wants them to be free of it and the theta pi girls or some stupid shit.There's not much of a plot so you'll easily grasp everything going on.All the twists and turns it seems they ripped right out of the "Scream" movies.In my eyes for being the movie it was i was even more disappointed that they left so many survivors.Then they do a outdated hint at the end of Garrett coming back as the killer.Oh please not a sequel to a remake...i just can't stomach those!I mean if your drunk or high and can't see straight this is the movie for you!
I give it a 1/5
..And that's because of the hott chicks.

Best Screamer

Alrighty,well this is a bit of a follow up from my "nightmare on elm street 3" post.I had blogged it before on my myspace but didn't like the way i worded it,so i'm starting off fresh.At the top of my best screamer list is none other than Patricia Arquette.Now it's hard to realize why i picked this wonderful actress.Her screams are absolutely brain piercing!If she was getting attacked on the street shit you would know it.I bet she would then scare off her attacker because of that blood curdling banshee cry.Seriously this woman makes my ears quiver from that high pitched shriek!But it's beautifully welcome in my DVD player anyday.Patricia has a great talent and would have made an even better scream queen.But she plays in many different genre films.I love that she expanded her horizons though,if not we wouldn't see her in such cool flicks as True Romance,Ed Wood,Holes,Flirting with disaster,etc.Because we all know that scream queens stay strictly in their horror genre,that's where they are recongnized.I couldn't help but hand off this title to her though,that's how intense it is.









P.S. Robert Englund has written a book about his Freddy expirence and such entitled "Hollywood Monster".And Heather Langenkamp is coming out with one by the name of "I am Nancy",i'm really excited to purchase and read both of them!So if your a fan there's just a quick bit of info.

Anyone have any opinions on a favorite scream queen?Theres so many good ones to choose from!

My Favorite Nightmare!

Okay,so my friend Steve brought over his movies,and he has all of the nightmare on elm street's.I just love em!!After i got over my ridiculously manic excitedness i took a little trip down memory lane.I'm not quite sure why i don't own all these already,probably the fact that i'm always ballz deep in independent cinema and don't allow much time for anything else.Now i love all the nightmare's,they tickle my pickle.The cheese,amazing effects,creative deaths and dreams(or shall i say nightmares).It's really hard to say that you could hate this movie franchise,but there's one in particular that i've always loved much more above the rest.Could you guess what that one might be?!.


Nightmare On Elmstreet 3:Dream Warriors





So i could give you a million reason why this is better than they rest,and i'll start right now.Okay we have my personal favorite screamer(I'll have to put that blog up for you to enjoy) the lovely Miss Patricia Arquette!When i first saw the movie i basically didn't know who she was(back in the day),but as time passed she's really become one of my favorite actresses.She did an amazing job as the sleep deprived teen Kristen Parker that is Freddy's new target.We also have some familiar faces: Robert Englund as Freddy back(of course),Heather Langenkamp as Nancy,John Saxon as Nancy's father,and an extra special appearance by Zsa Zsa Gabor(which is my 2nd favorite scene in the entire movie)!In case your wondering what my favorite scene is it's the hilarious scene where Freddy comes into Kirsten's room and says "where's the fucking bourbon" and grabs her mom,always the one thing that stuck with me.





I love the opening scene with the credits,how Patricia is making Freddy's house out of paper mache and popsicle sticks.It was such a good original way to open up number 3.It was really done beautifully and definately grabs your full attention.The music score was skin crawling creepy and fit perfectly thanks to Angelo Badalamenti and Dokken.The nightmare sequences are ohhh sooooo good,we get some more familiar aspects with Freddy's house and the freaky little girls playing jump rope.But,but,but they have soo much more cool new stuff to let transcend into your brain.So this flick revolves around a group of kids who are having the "Freddy" nightmares.They are all checked into a mental institution type deal for attempted suicides.Enter Nancy who's been through psychology school and is back to try to save the Elm Street kids.With the head Doctor trying to drug the kids claiming that they need the sleep to get better,it's a fight to the death.



Okay so i went off topic from the dream sequences,so let's address them.Kristens first nightmare with the little girl she's carrying changing into a skeleton,loved it.Then when Kristen is in the bathroom and the whole sink comes apart and turns into Freddy's arms.I mean it was so like wow,the detail to it.Philip and the marionette scene.So freddy pulls this kids veins out of his arms and legs and leads him to a tower where he is offed.Then with Taryn and the little opening and closing mouths on her arms where Freddy's own heroine needle claws are injected into her.There's so many more you'll just have to watch the movie to see.

Unlike the other nightmares this one has such memorable characters,you can't help but be a little perturbed when they get picked off one by one.Not to mention how many new secrets are revealed to the audience in this one.We find out about Freddy's mother,dream powers,where Freddy is buried,and many new tactics to keep yourself awake if your being dream stalked by a psycho child killing burn victim.It also leaves a lot of doors open for movies that followed.In addition it cracks me the fuck up that Freddy refer's to many of the girls as "Bitches"."Come and get him BITCH","Welcome to the prime time bitch".I mean with Robert Englund saying it,it just makes it that much more funnier.Oh that child murdering Freddy!Anyways if you haven't seen it yet,i highly recommend it!I gives it a 5/5!